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�who am I: I'm a small town girl, living in the big city, learning to trust God. I married a wonderful, patient man, Stephen, in October of 2008 and we had our first child, Micah, in June 2014. I've been keeping this diary since I was 16 years old, so it has seen a lot of life with me!

�likes: singing my soul out, writing my heart out, learning new things, falling in love, helping people, thinking about life, talking things through, dancing

�dislikes: not knowing where I'm going, fighting, losing touch with friends, making mistakes

�current reads:
tobehis
lobo21
standongrace
jondavid2010
fistofdoom
koorikaze

�old reads:
icofxcnika
iamhephzibah
eowyn86
araquen
onlygrace
howgoesit
twintale

My Bucket Lists
Dreams and Goals - 2004
Bucket List - 2019

The current mood of Seinahpet210 at www.imood.com

Motherhood
11:18 p.m. || October 07, 2014

Every night before bed, we feed him, swaddle him, and hold him upright until he gets sleepy. Then we lay him down in his crib, whisper prayers over him, leave the room, and close the door. Then I crumple into Stephen and cry a little because he is finally asleep, and I miss him.

I'm that way particularly when it's been a good day after a long string of rough days. Which was definitely true today.

I'm also particularly this way when my husband is the one who holds him until he falls asleep, which is more often than not.

You just pour yourself into this little tiny, hard to understand person all day, and then you reach the end of the day and all of the emotions that went into unconditionally loving him all melt together and turn you into a puddle when you see his sweet little face finally peaceful... Gets me every single time.

I miss his eyes looking at me and trusting me completely. Even though it's totally exahusting when someone trusts you that much and you know how imperfect you are.

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Miss Something?

Bucket List - 2019 - July 28, 2019

Stephen's Out of Town - April 24, 2019

A Little Bit "Extra" - April 01, 2019

Mara <3 - April 01, 2019

God's Justice and My Mom - March 24, 2019