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�who am I: I'm a small town girl, living in the big city, learning to trust God. I married a wonderful, patient man, Stephen, in October of 2008 and we had our first child, Micah, in June 2014. I've been keeping this diary since I was 16 years old, so it has seen a lot of life with me!

�likes: singing my soul out, writing my heart out, learning new things, falling in love, helping people, thinking about life, talking things through, dancing

�dislikes: not knowing where I'm going, fighting, losing touch with friends, making mistakes

�current reads:
tobehis
lobo21
standongrace
jondavid2010
fistofdoom
koorikaze

�old reads:
icofxcnika
iamhephzibah
eowyn86
araquen
onlygrace
howgoesit
twintale

My Bucket Lists
Dreams and Goals - 2004
Bucket List - 2019

The current mood of Seinahpet210 at www.imood.com

Transitions
5:44 p.m. || December 02, 2014

Dear Diary,

I finally told my boss the bad news. That I won't be coming back as a regular employee.

I tried not to cry in front of him, but it didn't work.

I really loved that job and it breaks my heart into so many pieces that I don't feel right trying to do the job and be Micah's mommy at the same time. I just don't think it would be healthy for anyone.

The other thing I did, which was stupid, was basically tell him I'd help out for Valentine's Day, Friday and Saturday.

I have a hard time letting things go.

I keep telling myself, "It's only 2 days. How bad could it be?"

But I know that I won't like it.

There's a Stephanie that worked as a floral designer and there's a Stephanie that works as a mommy. And ne'er the twain [should] meet.

But I have a hard time letting go of every version of myself that fades into the past.

Especially this time, because I really, really loved that job.

And I'm still not sure about mommyhood.

:/

I always, always, always heard people say to me before I got pregnant, "Being a mom is hard, but it's all worth it." I haven't got to the "all worth it" part yet. :/ Babies are really, really hard.

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Miss Something?

Bucket List - 2019 - July 28, 2019

Stephen's Out of Town - April 24, 2019

A Little Bit "Extra" - April 01, 2019

Mara <3 - April 01, 2019

God's Justice and My Mom - March 24, 2019