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�who am I: I'm a small town girl, living in the big city, learning to trust God. I married a wonderful, patient man, Stephen, in October of 2008 and we had our first child, Micah, in June 2014. I've been keeping this diary since I was 16 years old, so it has seen a lot of life with me!

�likes: singing my soul out, writing my heart out, learning new things, falling in love, helping people, thinking about life, talking things through, dancing

�dislikes: not knowing where I'm going, fighting, losing touch with friends, making mistakes

�current reads:
tobehis
lobo21
standongrace
jondavid2010
fistofdoom
koorikaze

�old reads:
icofxcnika
iamhephzibah
eowyn86
araquen
onlygrace
howgoesit
twintale

My Bucket Lists
Dreams and Goals - 2004
Bucket List - 2019

The current mood of Seinahpet210 at www.imood.com

Visit with the Grandparents
10:45 a.m. || April 24, 2015

Finally home from our visit with my grandparents. Micah's first really long trip! He did great in the car, up until the last 30 minutes of each drive. Poor kid! What a trooper.

The visit was a lot quieter and slower than I think my grandparents expected. Usually we end up going out into the town and doing a thing or two... Exploring an antique shop, taking a walk along the river... But it just did not work out this week. The first day, my friend Jenny came down to see us, which was great. Then that night and the next night, Micah slept terribly and all I wanted to do during the day was rest! Then, by the time Micah was starting to adjust and sleeping a little better, I came down hard with a cold. :/ I was pretty miserable Wednesday and yesterday in the car. Today I'm feeling much better, but I'm taking a nice, easy day today. Thankful that Stephen took extra time off work this week so we could adjust together.

We did get to have some good conversations! Particularly when Jenny was visiting with us. And the conversations went much better than they have in the past.

My grandpa and my husband find themselves on opposing theological sides, although we're all Christians. My grandpa also tends to be proud and reactionary about his faith, and both of them are very firm about their beliefs. So in the past, conversations have gotten very tense and have not resolved very well. My poor conflict-avoidant grandmother hated it... I didn't like it either, but I knew it was about TIME our family talked theology. So I stuck it out, but I felt bad for Grandma.

This time, I think both Stephen and Grandpa handled their differences and discussions very well. And I do believe Jenny's presence was a mitigating factor. She is such a peace-loving individual, and also an impartial outsider, so she balanced out the whole feel of the room.

We spent a good portion of the time talking about the debacle about the professor that got laid off at my alma mater. Didn't get much of anywhere, of course, because so much of the situation is speculation. Jenny was refreshingly balanced and optimistic about it, hoping the best for everyone involved. I do love that girl.

The other thing that came up was, naturally, faith vs. works and how those two things work together. I actually was able to say a thing or two. I say "was able" because in the past I've been too distressed by the tension to open my mouth and potentially make it worse. :) I didn't feel that stress this time. As I said, I think the conversations just on the whole went a lot better than in the past. I'm pretty sure Grandpa actually heard what Stephen was saying this time instead of just reacting to Stephen's general stance on faith vs. works. Praise God for his small mercies. :)

In other randomness, the last few nights I've had some trouble getting back to sleep after Micah's middle of the night feeding. I usually am up thinking about something. Last night was the same. Only this time, the things I was thinking about were beautiful instead of scary. I have these imaginary conversations with people in my head. It's one of the ways I process through things: "I would say...And then she would say...And then I would say...And then she would respond..." Last night I was imagining talking to a friend of mine from high school who is not a Christian, and I was sharing the Gospel with her, and she was actually listening to it with a receiving heart and accepted Christ.

Now I by no means believe that an imaginary conversation with someone where they accept Christ means that this conversation has taken place in real life. :) However, these imaginary conversations usually teach me things--ways to approach life. Last night, I realized that I can and should speak to people as if their hearts are open to Christ. Instead of speaking to them as if their hearts are closed to Him. I also realized that I should be sharing the Gospel more, specifically on my Facebook page, since at the moment, there's only person I have a real relationship with that is not a Christian (Rhonda). I share a lot about Micah lately, but after reading through so many great Christian books (Why We're Not Emergent, The Explicit Gospel), I am being gently driven towards being more open again about Christ. It causes controversy, but what I keep hearing over and over again is that the Gospel is going to put anyone who hears it in an untenable position--the heart of the hearer MUST move, either toward Christ, or away from him. (Matt Chandler, The Explicit Gospel) "The same sun that hardens the clay melts the ice." That's something the Puritans used to always say.

And if there's a hill I'm going to sacrifice my conflict-avoidance on, it's this one. The one that matters: the core of the Gospel, the Cross of Christ.

It's just that important.

So anyway... I think I've written enough for now. A lot has been going around in my head lately, as you can tell. It's good to get some of it out.

-Stephanie

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Miss Something?

Bucket List - 2019 - July 28, 2019

Stephen's Out of Town - April 24, 2019

A Little Bit "Extra" - April 01, 2019

Mara <3 - April 01, 2019

God's Justice and My Mom - March 24, 2019