Dear Diary,

I'm just writing this here because I don't know where else to go right now.

My sister is moving up here, with her boyfriend.

They are going to live in Mom's camper on Mom's property for about 9 months before they move east so Sam can go to the college she wants to go to.

I have no idea how to handle this situation.

My sister's choices for premarital sex have always been an incendiary point with me. If there is one message I got from being in the church culture all my life--just like Sam was, mind you--it's to NOT HAVE PREMARITAL SEX. Ever! I got the message LOUD and CLEAR.

And I absolutely cannot wrap my mind around how in God's green earth Sam didn't get that point.

For that reason, I decided a long time ago that her promiscuous life is just the epitome of her rebellion against God, the church, Christ, and our family values.

The thing is, though, it was never a family value for my mom. She was pregnant with me when she got married.

And part of me knows Sam must have somehow heard that message louder and clearer than the endless sermons from church and youth group.

Anyway, so I have a really hard time with knowing how to respond. Especially since I only ever see her with all the rest of the family. Do I just pretend like nothing is wrong at all?

I guess that's the deal, that I never see her except in groups. I think it will do me good to remember that it's better to talk to her about her choices on a one-on-one basis.

When I told Stephen about this, he didn't get mad at Sam. He got mad at my mom. "I think you should talk to your mom about letting Sam do this!" We had a loooooong discussion about how Mom sees nothing wrong with the situation. I mean, besides maybe a tiny little niggling doubt that this is the right thing to do.

And she'll ignore that doubt because she'd rather not make Sam mad.

Nobody wants to make Sam mad.

Sam doesn't burn bridges. She nukes them.

Anyway... This journalling has been good in helping me remember that I can only talk to her about her choices by herself. Not even with the boyfriend.

Sooooooo yeah.

I'm not going to actively pursue a one-on-one audience with Sam. I also don't like getting burned--or nuked, as the case may be.

I wish there was a happier resolution to this.

God, it's all on You. Only You can make the difference Sam needs.

-Stephanie

previous || next

Miss Something?

Social Anxiety with Guys - February 07, 2024

Education Expo with an ADHD Kid - February 03, 2024

Lovely Church Experience - October 22, 2023

Seek Out Community in Christ - August 29, 2023

Grieving Lost Friendships - May 08, 2023