Another friend aching for children.

Diary, I seriously don't know how to deal with this. It throws me into such confusion.

On the one hand, I feel like something is wrong with me because I don't feel that way.

On the other hand, I feel angry that people are so obsessed with something so incredibly difficult.

I'm definitely lacking grace in this area and I don't know why.

I think maybe the anger is actually just a reflex to feeling insecure.

Hm.

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Well, I journaled about it and I guess what it comes down to is that I feel very conflicted when my friends, who I care about and want to make feel better, post things that I can't help them feel better about AT ALL. Not even remotely.

Part of it is that I feel like I lost something, growing up with the mom/home life I did. What would it have been like to grow up in a home where motherhood and homemaking were valued so much? What would it be like to grow up knowing you didn't have to fight tooth and nail for everything you had, and instead resting in the blessings you'd been given? What would it be like to grow up in a home filled with peace instead of strife? And so many other what ifs.

We all have our own aches. :(

I told my friend she is very blessed to grow up in a home where homemaking and motherhood are valued so highly, but that I was sorry it was making her ache now.

-Stephanie

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