Hi Diary. I'm still mulling over this motherhood thing.

I wish I could ask someone what it's like. I wish I could peek into their world for just a minute and try to understand what it would be like to long for motherhood instead of fear it.

I just have some seriously deep-set insecurities that seem to be interfering with the amount of joy I could be having in life.

LOL. I sound like Rhonda.

I guess I should add--"what joy I could be having" at least if I am comparing myself to people like Catherine, Lauren, and Elysse.

Maybe it's okay that I don't look forward to it like that. Hm.

I wonder what my girl friends would say about the reasons they became moms (Becca, Charis, Hayley).

I'm considering seeking counseling again, Christian counseling, biblical if I can find it. It'll at least be interesting to see how prices compare out here.

I guess there's always my healthcare system. $25 copays beat $90/session out of pocket. Would I find good counsel there?

-Stephanie

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