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�who am I: I'm a small town girl, living in the big city, learning to trust God. I married a wonderful, patient man, Stephen, in October of 2008 and we had our first child, Micah, in June 2014. I've been keeping this diary since I was 16 years old, so it has seen a lot of life with me!

�likes: singing my soul out, writing my heart out, learning new things, falling in love, helping people, thinking about life, talking things through, dancing

�dislikes: not knowing where I'm going, fighting, losing touch with friends, making mistakes

�current reads:
tobehis
lobo21
standongrace
jondavid2010
fistofdoom
koorikaze

�old reads:
icofxcnika
iamhephzibah
eowyn86
araquen
onlygrace
howgoesit
twintale

My Bucket Lists
Dreams and Goals - 2004
Bucket List - 2019

The current mood of Seinahpet210 at www.imood.com

The People in Your Neighborhood
2:09 p.m. || May 09, 2017

Today we went to the "yellow playgrass." I met some...interesting women there. Sisters. From the typical socioeconomic class of my current city, which is not exactly white trash, but definitely poor-er white.

They were both SUPER talkative and outgoing and the first one, Kaylee, talked to me the whole time she was there. Normally I am not good at engaging people in conversation, but conversation came fairly easily this time because I'm hugely pregnant and so we talked about pregnancy and kids. She told me all about her 4 kids--how hard and strong-willed her 2.5-year-old is (whom she was pushing in the swing beside me), the attitude problems with her 8.5-year-old girl--and she told me about how she used to work, go to school full-time, and be a mom at the same time, and how her kids' dad was working 10-12 hour shifts at the time.

"Wow," I said. "Not much time for you and your husband to see each other."

I hesitated before the last bit, knowing it was quite likely that they had never even married, but figured it was an okay thing to say, since I had no idea what the story was.

"Yeah," she said. "That's probably why it fell apart about a year ago, because we never saw each other."

I was not really surprised to learn that Dad wasn't in the picture anymore. What did surprise and sadden me was how she so simply and readily accepted my observation as the explanation. No quick scramble to explain how it was all his fault, or at least not hers; no defensiveness at all. No sadness, either, though. She just spoke about it as if it were nothing more than a fact of her life.

How sad must that be?

It reminded me of the way I used to talk about not having a father growing up. "I don't have a dad," I would say, devoid of emotion. If I felt anything, it was vague confusion, because I could tell even as I said that that something wasn't exactly right about that, but I didn't know where to go from there.

Anyway, it was kind of an eye-opening conversation. Or maybe more of a heart-opening one. I've always felt for single moms in the poor white class since that's what I basically grew up with. Even if we were slightly above "poor white class" because of my grandparents' help, probably 80% of my classmates weren't so blessed, and a lot of them were my friends. But I've been living in middle class circles for a long, long time now, and while I've never entirely forgotten where I come from, it did start to fade, like my stretch marks, which you could still see in a certain light.

And then God plopped me right back into the surroundings I grew up in! Go figure.

...More thoughts on this later? I got distracted and now it's bedtime.

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Miss Something?

Bucket List - 2019 - July 28, 2019

Stephen's Out of Town - April 24, 2019

A Little Bit "Extra" - April 01, 2019

Mara <3 - April 01, 2019

God's Justice and My Mom - March 24, 2019