BENJAMIN'S BIRTH STORY

It had been a long, LONG two weeks of prodromal labor and wondering if my body would EVER go into labor on its own. Contractions starting and stopping and then taking a break for a while. I was at 0 cm at my 39-week appointment. By the end of the week, I was getting pretty close to devastated. I just wanted to know the stupid contractions were doing ANYTHING.

I nearly didn't get my cervical check at my 40-week appointment. I tried to hold back tears as I waited for the nurse to return with word from the doctor as to whether he would do one for me. She hadn't sounded very optimistic. Finally she popped her head in and told me: "Undress from the waist down. He'll do one for you."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

She said yes. I thanked God for small mercies and undressed.

It was by far the most painful cervical check I have ever had. He pushed on that baby's head and that hurt the worst. He told me, "Mm, you're about...3 cm dilated and about 60% effaced."

All I really heard was "3 cm dilated" and I lost it. My body had made progress. The stupid contractions were actually doing something. I knew at this point that even if I did still have to be induced next week, it would at least most likely go better and faster than with Micah.

I cried and cried and confused the poor doctor and the nurse. I managed to explain that I was just so thankful my body was making any progress at all since it didn't with my first. The doctor said some hopeful things and eventually left and the nurse went to get my after-visit papers. I sat in the chair and cried and cried some more against the wall.

I made an induction appointment for the following Tuesday, wanting to give my body as much chance as I could to go into labor on its own, but not wanting to give myself a lot of risk of stillbirth. I still wrestled all week long with a feeling of failure and fear as prodromal labor made a couple more appearances.

On Friday, Margie (who had been there almost a week by now) offered to give Stephen and I a date night without Micah. What a great idea! We tried a new restaurant with just-okay food, but it was nice to have a real date. Mild contractions started while we were eating but I knew better than to get too hopeful by now. I went to bed reminding myself to just keep waiting patiently and praying, while mentally preparing for induction Tuesday.

I had contractions all night that were fairly strong, compared to what I'd been having, but were a good amount apart. I could still sleep chunks of time.

Saturday morning I woke up at 7 with a very strong contraction. Strong contractions continued 10-12 minutes apart at that point but in an hour progressed down to 4-6 minutes apart. I realized I felt an awful lot of something "down there," though it was definitely not my water breaking. I put on a pantiliner and checked it a bit later to realize I'd lost my mucus plug. Google told me I was also getting something called "bloody show." I knew the mucus plug didn't mean much but the "bloody show," on the other hand, seemed like a reason to call Labor & Delivery. So I called at 9:00 to see what the story was, and the nurse said, "Wow... Sounds like you'll be having a baby soon!"

So off Stephen and I went to the hospital. :)

As we checked in to the hospital, my contractions were at the point where I definitely couldn't talk through them and had to lean forward on something when they hit. "Does this hospital have any stress balls?" I asked. Thankfully they did!! They got me two and I squeezed them and leaned forward when the contractions hit and that helped a lot.

We got into triage at 10:30 and a cervical check said I was only at 4 cm. But I knew with the speed the contractions were progressing and the strength of them, I thought, "Good grief, I'm going to have a baby today!" (I had originally thought maybe I'd have him early Sunday morning.)

They came back to check me an hour later and I was at 6 cm!! I continued to use my stress balls and lean and have Stephen massage my back but boy they were getting tough! They asked if I was planning on having an epidural and how soon, so they could get an anesthesiologist in line for me. At 6 cm, I was like, "Um, soon!!!" LOL.

They had trouble locating an anesthesiologist to do the epidural and I wondered if I was even going to get one in time! The contractions were now at the level where I was having to scream some to get through them and I was like "I really need an epidural right now!!!" Thank GOODNESS they finally found somebody and got it going. I had them dose me with fentanyl first just to get through stuff while they set up. Good grief. Anyway, finally they got it in and it went super well, although I felt it more on my left side than my right and it didn't have time to take full effect either. But it was definitely enough! I was sooooooo much happier and more relaxed when I got it.

Stephen ran out to the car to grab our bags for our hospital stay. They did one last cervical check after the epidural. Just as they were checking me, my water broke all over. LOL. I was glad Stephen missed that. But I was at 9 cm!! "Good grief, I'm going to have this baby in the next two hours!" was my thought. :D

Stephen returned and in no time at all, it was time to push, and suddenly things were just very quiet. It was so unlike my last birth, with the doctors and everybody shouting at me and me so exhausted and in pain that I just wanted to give up. I also was allowed to make my own calls this time as far as when to push, but that was hard, because I couldn't very much feel the contractions.

Pushing was still hard and it took me forever to find the "right spot," as the doctor called it. I also realized why being in good physical shape makes it go easier. I was pushing with all my might--and I just didn't have much might! Benji's head got stuck partway because of this and that was painful and I realized what they mean by a "ring of fire." They asked me if I wanted to feel his head and I said, "NO!" LOL. That's just too freaky to me.

I threw myself into the next couple contractions as much as possible and after his head came, he was out in, like, 2 pushes. They put him straight on me and I didn't even care that he was messy (I cared a bit last time). I lost it and just said, "Oh, he's here! He's here! Hi sweet baby! It's your mommy! You're here!" over and over. I cried from happiness this time, like moms are supposed to when their babies are born. So very different than my last reaction of looking at this strange, blonde baby incredulously and saying, "How did this happen?"

He had a very thin layer of dark-colored hair on his head and a face much rounder (shorter and wider) than Micah's. And he was red! So red and healthy! He had a tiny bit of fine dark-colored hair on his back and arms and ears and he reminded me of Esau. :)

"Isaiah" went straight out the window. Somehow that was more suited for a blonde baby. We went between Dietrich and Benjamin for a while. I even wanted to name him Benjamin Dietrich! But I couldn't NOT name him after Grandpa. It was a hard decision, but we decided he would just be Benjamin Joseph. Even though my name isn't Rachel. :D

Benji weighed 8.0 lbs exactly according to the scale in the delivery room, but Saturday night and Sunday he measured consistently 7 lbs 12 oz. He was 20.5" long!! Micah was only 19". They didn't tell me his head measurement, but he has a much smaller, more "normal" head than Micah.

My labor was altogether 7.5 hours. I still can't believe how amazingly well it went and how long I went without an epidural! In between contractions, I was just ridiculously happy because everything was going. So. Great. So. Stinking. Thankful. And now Benji is here and yay. :) Time to grow together as a family--of four. <3

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