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�who am I: I'm a small town girl, living in the big city, learning to trust God. I married a wonderful, patient man, Stephen, in October of 2008 and we had our first child, Micah, in June 2014. I've been keeping this diary since I was 16 years old, so it has seen a lot of life with me!

�likes: singing my soul out, writing my heart out, learning new things, falling in love, helping people, thinking about life, talking things through, dancing

�dislikes: not knowing where I'm going, fighting, losing touch with friends, making mistakes

�current reads:
tobehis
lobo21
standongrace
jondavid2010
fistofdoom
koorikaze

�old reads:
icofxcnika
iamhephzibah
eowyn86
araquen
onlygrace
howgoesit
twintale

My Bucket Lists
Dreams and Goals - 2004
Bucket List - 2019

The current mood of Seinahpet210 at www.imood.com

Pastor Says
10:02 p.m. || June 14, 2017

Dear Diary,

Two days later and I am still thinking over the things Pastor Christopher said. I got to talk to Jenny today and it was presumably so I could process through them, but it ended up being more a conversation about Jenny. Poor thing, she is having a very hard time with this Brent business. I see her making progress but I also see her still suffering and still stuck. I wish I could give her something solid to hang onto, but I seem to keep saying the wrong things. :/ I think I might need a separate entry to think through Jenny things.

Anyway... There were several things Chris (I can only call him Chris right now, as much as I try to be formal about it!) said that were enlightening.

Before I get to that. Can I just say how completely humbling it is to have our pastor just come and just listen to me and counsel me with the gospel? I can't get over it. I was like this with the first go-round too. Couldn't believe how he just sat and listened to all my drama and our story for HOURS.

Argh, I'm not getting anywhere with this entry. Too sleep-deprived. Benji finally decided eating at night was a good idea.

Things that Chris said that were helpful, just so I have them started written down:

-Grief: Name it, mourn it, and wait. (I'm good at the naming it and waiting, but not so much at the mourning part.)
-Godly, loving relationships are the cure for shame from broken relationships.
-You can also name good things that happen and rejoice, telling yourself that it is because God loves you that this happened. (This is hard for me!)
-"How do you justify boundaries within your Christian theology?" Say what! Whoa! #brainexploding (This is the thing I'm mulling over the most, I think.)

So God created mankind in his own image,     
in the image of God he created them;     
male and female he created them.

"How do you justify having boundaries within your Christian theology?"

What! What kind of question!

It caught me so off guard because it is something I have come to believe SO absolutely that I have never thought to try and justify it.  Me and my instincts and intuition. 

It is absolutely not incompatible with Christianity to have boundaries. 

But why? I have no idea!

Chris directed me to the verses in Genesis chapter 1 where God creates man and woman. (Not the first place I would have thought to look!) And he tried to explain it to me, and I feel as though I see just a tiny bit of the light he sees, but that it'll become clearer as I process and ponder and mull.  What he said is, we were created with value.  And somehow that means boundaries are a good thing.  I know there is a connection there, I just can't word it out right.

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Miss Something?

Bucket List - 2019 - July 28, 2019

Stephen's Out of Town - April 24, 2019

A Little Bit "Extra" - April 01, 2019

Mara <3 - April 01, 2019

God's Justice and My Mom - March 24, 2019