So much to think about.

My grandpa's birthday was 2 days ago. He hates getting presents (for either Christmas OR birthday). Years ago he said all he wanted from me was a letter. I've tried to write him one every year since then and not succeeded, unable to decide what to say or how to say it--there is just so much I want to say or wish I could say. Today I finally finished a letter to him. It's a thank-you letter and it has all my favorite memories I have of him in it, plus lessons I have learned from him about faith.

"You know he's totally going to cry, right?" Stephen asked.

"Yep, I know," I said. "I can't decide if I should warn him beforehand not to read it in front of everyone. I don't want him to think there's anything bad in it."

I totally should have warned him.

He got really choked up. I was glad it was a smaller group than anticipated today (Mom was super sick :( and Sam had a concert). I was glad the rest of the family was distracted by randomness while he read it. But eventually some of them noticed.

"What's that you're reading, Dad?" Gail asked. She could tell he was barely holding it together.

Grandpa couldn't yet speak.

"It's a letter," I said. "From me." And left it at that. Thankfully, so did Gail. She might ask about it later.

"Are you okay, Grandpa?" I asked.

"...Kind of," he said hoarsely.

"Do you want to finish reading it later?"

"...I'm just about done."

One of the things I thanked him for was not being afraid to "go at it" with Stephen about theological things. I'm glad they can be iron sharpening iron. And I said, "Thanks for forgiving me for marrying a Calvinist!" LOL.

Some time after presents, Steve and Grandpa were by the counter while Grandma and Glena washed dishes. Grandpa pretended to "go at" Stephen about some thing or other--Steve and I can't remember what now!--all in good fun. The little playful interchange ended with them clapping each other in a "man-hug" (LOL) and Steve saying with a grin, "Love you, Grandpa." We all laughed and Grandpa looked straight at me while he laughed and I held his gaze while I laughed, like we had a little secret. ;) It was fun.

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