Every so often I get reminded of events and I realize I haven't forgiven yet.

Once upon a time, I was at my aunt's loft. I had recently started working at my floral design job and was still getting used to getting up early. Getting up early has never been my strong point. I said something about how tired I was because I had woken up at 6:45 or whatever to get to work, and my mom laughed (scornfully) at me, and my aunt said, "I get up at 5:30 every morning to go to my work!"

I was really hurt. I blurted out, "My life is hard, too!" and burst into tears and stormed away all of 10 feet to sit on the bottom of my aunt's steps, where my husband comforted me.

I think other things may have been going on at the time. (There was a good chance I was pregnant.) But in that moment, my mom's and aunt's phrases just fused into one sweeping notion about how self-centered my family can be. And I've never quite moved past that.

That was 4-5 years ago. I realized tonight that if my mom or aunt said anything similar like that again, I would bristle. May God work on my heart to help me forgive. And I will continue my prayers for my mom's and aunt's hearts. They have their thorns, too.

-Stephanie

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