My heart's absolutely shattered.

Mara's husband's issues go far, far deeper than I realized. Than any of us did.

And she has just been suffering quietly for over a year.

At the study, most of the women cried when Mara shared her heart. I cried yesterday, before I knew anything. But with the info she shared today, I feel more angry.

Not at Mara. A little bit at Ian, for something in particular he said to Mara (she was mad too; she hid it, but I could tell). But mostly at evil. At sin. At institutions that want absolutely no part of the Gospel. At the dark spiritual powers at work in this world that serve only to destroy the most tortured souls in it.

Oddly, instead of moving me to despair about the world, I was moved to direct my prayers at God to act. To show his power. To BE GOD. To do things only God could do. To demand the glory and honor he deserves and prove it to the world.

So that's where I'm at.

Sadness I can hide. Anger? Especially righteous anger? I find that difficult. But I am not sure how much I can/should share with Stephen, the person I usually sound out these things with, for the sake of Mara and Ian's privacy. Hence all my journaling.

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