This is a great time to have a secret diary.

Dear Mary,

Just so you know, my "complaints" on Facebook aren't meant to be complaints. They're meant to be funny spins on the misfortunes in life. You know, like, #firstworldproblems? Ha ha? Funny and relatable?

But I want you to know that, despite your brutal words, I did dig a kernel of truth out of them. I told you they would remain in my mind (what I didn't say is, "whether I like it or not"--but you probably guessed that). It's true, I should shine my light better. I tell you what, though, it's harder to put the good times into words than the bad.

Now about you. I don't know why you have such a desire to poison everybody in your life that has ever been connected to Tim. It's sickening and saddening. I mean, I seriously grieve for your heart. How hard it must be! What on earth do you suppose God thinks of that?

Also, Christianity is not, in fact, about pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. There's this Bible verse about sharing one another's burdens. Ever heard of it? I'm glad you think Chris is pulling you out of your own mire, 'cause that's valuable too, but I get the feeling it's not in a "share one another's burdens" kind of way and your words leave me with the impression that your heart hasn't changed a lick because of it. You just took your pride and wrapped it up in different packaging!

So much pride, Mary. I recognize it because I've lived it. Maybe I should tell you that, since you thought it was appropriate to point out to me where my sin is because you struggle with it yourself. You're not even addressing the real heart issue behind it, though. You essentially said, "Shut up already!" If that's the kind of thing you are learning from your new flame, then I am even sadder for you. He's going to turn out more abusive than Tim ever was.

Which, by the way, seems to be more your fault than his.

Yeah, he got drunk. Yeah, he got angry. Yeah, he cheated on you.

But Mary, you provoked him. And provoked him. And provoked him. What did you expect? Where are you getting this hair-brained idea that that was the right way to handle it? Your crazy idea that that's what Christianity is about? Pissing people off until they "change"? What a sad life you must live. What a sad idea of God you must have. What is this B.S. you're spreading and where on earth did you get it from? God draws us in love, not vindictiveness. Again--a lesson I'm learning.

Why did you think it was necessary to tell me how worse your life is and how much better a job you're doing at handling with it? There's no grace at all visible in your life. Only vindictiveness, revenge, hatred, malice, rage, envy. Huh, reminds me of another Bible verse or three.

Anyway, Mary, you'll never listen to anyone until God intervenes. I'll try to pray for you. Right now I'm still reeling from the pain you decided to inflict on me for some reason. I'm not even a ******** by blood? Does it piss you off even more that I chose and am continuing to choose this life? What happened to 17-year-old Mary who was dead certain that Tim was your man and would do anything to get him? What a power seeker you are. Where on earth is Christ in your heart? Where is the gentleness that tells you there's a better way?

May God bring you to repentance in his gentleness and love.

Your soon-to-be ex-sister-in-law. I hope you find the happiness you seek.

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