Finally, somewhere I can be 100% honest. Thank God for Diaryland. Never mind that I'm attempting this on a #$%&* touchscreen. I hate touchscreens. But it's stupidly convenient.

Anyway, I just wanted somewhere to admit that I am not coping very well. I have wondered several times in the last few weeks if Micah should have a different mommy.

LOL. Actually, if I want to be 100% honest, what I should say is, I don't want to do this anymore.

There. I said it. Whew, that feels nice to say.

I'm just going to sit there for a moment.

Dear Diary, this would be easier if Stephen weren't running 100� fevers the last 2 days.

I've seen a lot of news stories of late about people killing their children. Accidentally or otherwise. People react in comments very violently to these stories. "They should never have been a parent! May they rot in hell!" Is the most common phrasing. Not even kidding.

I get the impression that these people have never parented a baby before. Or at least they are far enough removed from baby parenthood that they feel justified in seething out personal condemnation upon these parents. Because outside of God's grace, I can understand why people would lose it and snap.

Sleep deprivation is a form of torture in real life contexts.

Anyway, I'm a parent now. And there is no off switch. My only option is to soldier on.

My sister went to boot camp in the Marines. I became a parent.

One last thought before I sign off. I don't know how my mom did this single.

(Technically she was still married to my dad when Sam and I were babies. But she says Dad didn't "lift a finger to help.")

That's all for now.

-Stephanie

previous || next

Miss Something?

Social Anxiety with Guys - February 07, 2024

Education Expo with an ADHD Kid - February 03, 2024

Lovely Church Experience - October 22, 2023

Seek Out Community in Christ - August 29, 2023

Grieving Lost Friendships - May 08, 2023