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Talking to Savannah about Sam
1:25 p.m. || December 09, 2015
"Is forgiveness anywhere in your near future for your sister?"
Every time I remember this question S. asked me last week, I have to giggle. There was something so innocent about it.
I didn't have a good answer for her. I know this is going to sound odd, but I honestly don't think forgiveness is the issue here.
The reason she said that is because I told her that I don't really want Sam to have a relationship with me or Micah. (And she probably won't actively pursue one anyway, which Sv. may never understand.)
I think last week's conversation with her was maybe the first time I have ever talked at length about Sam with her.
How do I explain that she is not normal?
Particularly when I can't remember any details about our teenage lives except how she made me feel?
I could probably remember details, but I don't want to. Not without a counselor to work through them.
"How do I do that with a narcissist?" I asked, sincerely, as I tried to think aloud with Sv.
She laughed a little--I think she thought I was using the term lightly. It's thrown around a lot today, but that isn't what I meant at all.
What I meant was, how do I have a relationship with a person who can't be trusted to have a healthy relationship?
(unfinished)
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