I'm more in need of journaling every day, it seems like sometimes.

In the last few weeks, there has been a bombing in Orlando at a gay night bar that killed 50 people, a bombing in Baghdad that killed 200 people, two more shootings of black men by white cops, and yesterday in Dallas multiple SNIPERS shot 12 cops, 5 of which have died.

On Facebook, people are screaming from their various sides of the situation. Including the ones advocating the "sensitive" side, the "stop all the hate" side. Lots of these people are posting the famous darkness-light, hate-love quote from Martin Luther King, Jr.

All I want is to sit in the sorrow of it all - not the incidents themselves. There are plenty of people doing that for me. But in all the reactions. The complete and utter lack of the Gospel.

One guy I saw said, "There's only one common denominator here: guns."

That was probably the hardest thing to read.

Because there is one common denominator here: the depravity of humankind. It is the true missing piece and NO ONE outside is listening.

Yesterday I was also reading reviews on two children's Bibles, the Jesus Storybook Bible and The Biggest Story, and I read the most astonishing thing. A person who claims to be Christian criticized The Biggest Story as focusing too much on "the fall and redemption, thereby missing the bigger picture of the Bible."

My mouth just dropped.

WHAT DOES HE THINK THE BIGGER PICTURE OF THE BIBLE IS!?!?!?!?!!?!?!

I don't understand how these people, who claim to be born again believers!, are so incredibly blind to the true Gospel.

I don't understand why anyone is so blind, actually. Steve and I were just talking about this. It is the one thing I struggle most to understand about God: why oh why doesn't He make everything CRYSTAL CLEAR to everyone on earth? I am just never going to understand. I've heard various answers but they aren't enough. One is, by blowing up the bad news to an overwhelmingly large picture, God is making it so that when the Good News comes in, it is even more glorious. One is, God didn't want to make us robots. Robots aren't capable of real love, you can only love something if you have a choice to love it or not.

But I just don't understand how all this bad can really be necessary.

And again. I'm not talking about shootings and bombings and hatred. I'm talking about complete, utter blindness of the hearts of nonbelievers that LEAD to the bombings and hatred and shootings. "The prince of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers." Yes, but WHY does God allow that? Why did He speak in parables so that "hearing they may not understand"? Why is that even a thing??

There are believers. This is true. But there are so many nonbelievers.

The straight and narrow vs. the wide and easy. Yes. I know that God says all this must be as it is, but what He does not say is WHY.

...

So I just posted my question to my Calvinist board that I am a part of (that nobody ever posts on :( ). In writing it, I was reminded, though, that at the heart of that question is, Does God know best?

But that still doesn't help me with what to post on Facebook. :/

What good is my light if I can't find the words to shine it?

-Stephanie

Here's what I posted. If I don't have good enough words, I guess Scripture is a good start.

Then Job replied to the Lord:

2 “I know that you can do all things;
no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
3 You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’
Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me to know.
4 “You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.’
5 My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you.
6 Therefore I despise myself
and repent in dust and ashes.”

...

Something I wish I could say sometimes: "STOP TALKING ABOUT THE SICK BRANCHES AND START TALKING ABOUT THE LIFE-GIVING ROOT!!!!"

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