ARRRGGGGHHH!!

That felt good.

LOL. If I'd really screamed.

Oh my gosh... One weekend and my whole life gets turned upside-down. Again. :p

I've been trying to figure out what to do about Nate. Nate and me, more specifically. What the heck? I'm thinking of calling him tonight and asking him what we should do. But I'm not even sure about that. It seems to me that he might agree to a complete severing of our relationship, based on lunch yesterday with him. (WOW. That was just yesterday?!) But he is as changeable as the wind. (Hm, sounds like someone else I know...) Or at least as his moods. :p

Oh, Father. I don't know what to do. I've been asking you all day what to do--whether I should call him tonight or not--You haven't answered me. At least not that I can tell. I might call him anyway. There are pros and cons... If I don't call, he might be hurt. If I do call, he might get hurt, and then we'd get ourselves into yet ANOTHER emotional mess.

If I don't call, I will be waiting more on Your answer. If I do call, we might get things figured out. That's a definite possibility, if he really has changed his mind and won't change it back. God, is it okay if I promise not to call him unless I hear directly from You if that's the right thing to do? Or is that just another form of the "multiple-choice" prayer? Should I just ask You for wisdom? Well, God, I need that anyway, so here is me asking You for wisdom!

Father, I'm just going to wait. But Daddy... If he has called and left a voice mail... Should I call him back? I guess that only makes logical sense. But maybe his tone of voice might alter my judgment...? Meaning, if he sounds depressed again, I am NOT going to want to talk to him about all this. If he sounds totally happy and unconcerned, though, I'm also not going to want to call him. Definitely not. Who, going through stress involving a certain person and a tough decision, wants to talk to that person about that decision who is completely unconcerned and happy? I would be putting a damper on his happiness, which leads to all sorts of problems not even related to the main problem. Yuck.

Wow. God, I'm not going to stress sitting here at the computer. I'm going to go into my room, check my voice mail, and dive into Your word. Lord, go with me? Please, Father, bring me that note of clarity I so desperately need right now... Thank You.

Yours,
Stephanie