I heard this song yesterday night at Shari's. It's one of my favorite songs off the radio, but I hadn't heard it for so long I'd forgotten it! Elizabeth really likes it, too... Wonder what that says about how she feels about Ryan... :) Kidding, kidding. I don't think she's as crazy as I am, LOL:

If You're Not the One
Daniel Bedingfield

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I wonder if Nate ever heard this song? I don't think he did, or else he certainly would've mentioned it to me at SOME point, knowing him!

I'm slowly learning what love is about--from the most surprising sources. One being my British Literature class. We are/were reading Paradise Lost, and then we discussed it Friday in class, and Professor H totally demolished my romantic idea of Book 9, when Adam decides to die with Eve! Good grief. But slowly as I thought about it, I learned he was right. He said that Adam had not done that out of love at all. He said Adam and Eve were victims of... let me see if I get this right... uxoriousness. That's what couples experience in the early days or weeks or maybe even months of their marriage: the sheer happiness of being wedded to that significant person, that quickly dissipates as the marriage progresses and problems arise.

Now, I don't want you guys to think I'm down on marriage. I guess it kind of sounded like that... I don't mean married couples don't love each other, but the feeling part disappears when the young couple discovers that marriages take effort--you cannot last on feelings forever. I guess. Does that make sense to anyone? :p Sorry about confusion.

Why was I saying all this?

OH! So at first when Professor H told me that, I was quite perturbed. What was he saying, telling me Adam didn't eat the fruit out of true love for Eve?! But gradually I realized he was right. And that's why I said I've been learning about love. Realizing that was kind of like having a bucketful of cold water splashed on my face... (Anyone a Pirates of the Caribbean fan? :) ) But it did teach me something. Now let's see if I remember this lesson... LOL.

Well, I really should be getting to my homework. I have, like, 100 more pages to read in my ZHB, plus three chapters of Fee & Stuart, plus a 4-page paper to start on. Later!

-Stephanie

P.S. Still praying for you girls out there... Courtney, Jen...