I'm just going to quit trying to be a witness. I am not very good at it. I'm too judgmental, I'm too worried about making the wrong impression (which ends up making the wrong impression), I'm too everything. The only thing I can be without seeming to be a hypocrite is nice.

I would love to stick my neck out there, to be brave and say, "I'm nice because I am a Christian, and this is the difference Christ has made in my life" but I can't do it. It always ends up wrong.

I especially do horribly at the point where I think witnessing is the most critical: when I perceive someone as falling off the path, drifting away, making wrong choices. I am HORRIBLE. Nothing comes out right. It's like saying in an offended, accusatory tone, "I care about other people!" That doesn't make sense. Does it matter?

I *stink* at witnessing; I come out judgmental, hypocritical, and peevish. I am not going to make any more bold efforts; I'm not going to be brave anymore; I'll just go back to living my quiet little, nice little life and stop speaking up and hope everyone else "can tell that I'm a Christian" without confirming it to anybody.

Wonderful attitude for a Christian to have, isn't it?

For a hypocritical Christian, maybe.

Goodbye.

-Stephanie

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