I'm feeling an urge to write this entry, even though I wrote it once on MySpace (and the computer went and timed me out, GRR!). But this is going to be much less witty than my MySpace version. Lemme take a breath... An entry that really rattled me has caused my brain to go a hundred miles an hour trying to find where to begin.

Crushes are extremely self-centered things. And when I say "crushes" in this entry, I'm referring to everything from simple attractions to being absolutely "in love" (in the world's sense). And since I happen to be a girl, this, naturally, will lean more towards a girl's standpoint. Guys, I'm sure you can relate to parts. If you don't feel like reading further, however, that's fine.

Crushes are ALWAYS selfish. There is no exception.

In all truth, it really doesn't seem that way. When you have a crush on a guy or girl, you're thinking all the day long about them, right? What you see in your mind is their face; what you hear is their voice. So how can it be selfish if you're thinking of the other person?

But consider this: You see that guy or girl with the fabulous body and, on top of that, awesome personality striding the halls, flashing glowing smiles, nodding hellos, and your heart starts pounding harder. Your head spins off into daydreams.

Girls go all out when it comes to daydreams. In a flash, accompanying the simple appearance of the guy (in her mind or physically present), she sees their incredibly romantic first date, the way their love grows and blossoms, even all the way to his romantic asking of The Question. That one Question every girl longs to hear!

You draw yourself back to the hallways at school. You just slightly slow down as HE or SHE draws nearer to you, staring, gazing, hoping for a smile, a word, an acknowledgement of your existence.

Wait... Of whose existence?

Of your existence.

And there's the catch.

So you're daydreaming of them. But you're daydreaming of them speaking to YOU. You're daydreaming of them out with YOU. You're daydreaming of them kissing YOU. You certainly aren't daydreaming of them kissing someone else!!

Crushes are so selfish. Being in love is selfish. When you're in a relationship with somebody, the same things apply. What are you daydreaming about? You're daydreaming about last night's date where he took the liberty to spend time with YOU. You're daydreaming about the way her mouth felt against YOURS.

Now, lest you think me too cynical, I do believe in real, honest-to-goodness, enduring love. I do not believe that it has anything to do with feelings. And I do not believe the selfish feelings of a crush are something to bulid a relationship of any sort upon.

Emotions are the worst at tricking you. Don't ask me why God created them that way. I suppose they add flavor to life, but they are disatrous too.

One day I may write a detailed entry on the way emotions made a disaster of my relationship with Nate, just to drive the point home, but since this is long enough already (and I'm starving and need to go eat), that'll be another day.

I just hope I've saved some poor soul from entering into a catastrophe of a relationship with somebody they thought they loved.

Here's a good quote to go along with this entry; it perfectly goes along with what I've been saying. Young ladies, listen:

"A healthy young female usually gives her body only to someone she thinks of night and day and with whom her heart and spirit have already connected. And when she gives her mind, heart, and soul, her body usually follows right behind them. The four are intricately connected." -taken from Every Young Woman's Battle

-Stephanie