Dear God,

I have a request. Tonight Gwen, Mindy, Jenny and I are going to confront Tad about his lack of respect for personal space. I think it's a great idea. I am going to be much more comfortable talking to him about my issues with him with other girls beside me. I just don't want him to be overwhelmed or hurt or anything, Lord. My request is that the confrontation would go well and that Tad would understand what we're trying to say. We don't want him to think we don't want to have anything to do with him, God; we just need him to back off a bit and learn our boundaries.

God, I honestly think it's a great idea and I am excited about it. Please open Tad's heart and help him understand what we need to express.

We love you, Jesus. Be with us tonight.

Love,
Stephanie

Well, that didn't exactly go as I thought it would. It wasn't bad... But I didn't say what I thought I would get to say. I found out Jenny and Mindy's issues with Tad are physical, whereas mine are emotional. Mindy and Jenny's issues are, "Don't hug me. Don't get two inches away from my face." Etc. My issues are, "Don't try to get me to dig up my past. Don't try to connect with me emotionally." Etc. He hasn't even shown that he might do this, but the way he acts... He is so much like Nate... I'm just afraid that that's how he is.

I did apologize to him for avoiding him without giving him any explanation, and that felt really good. I've felt horrible the last few days 'cause I've been paranoid about getting anywhere near him and have avoided him at all costs. It felt good to give even a slight explanation... I just wish I could tell him what's really wrong, 'cause he's thinking I have issues with physical touch and he might want to know how that was connected to my ex-boyfriend, and that, actually, that "What went wrong in your past that made you like this?" is exactly what I want to avoid. Oh, the irony. :P

But I'm okay for now.

L! O! L! We were SO hilarious though at first--Tad had no idea what we needed to talk about, we just told our group, "We need to talk to Tad." It was full of exchanged glances and release-the-tension giggling before we told him anything. We were laughing 'cause it was so awkward and we thought about how awkward poor Tad must have felt.

Geez, I've go to go to bed. It's past midnight. Sorry the last few entries have been so choppy and incomplete. :P I'll try to do better. Good night!

-Stephanie