About a week ago, I was thinking about romance. I was thinking about romance with a particular guy in mind, actually, who shall remain nameless. For about a year I'd been chasing after him, trying to make the relationship into more than it really was. I was trying to make him romantic--instead he stayed lighthearted. I was trying to make him fall in love with me--instead we remained good friends. I was thinking of roses and daydreams, and he was giving me wildflowers and laughter.

As I was thinking about him that night, it finally dawned on me that maybe the relationship was better the way it was: lighthearted. Friendly. Fun.

With that thought came a peace that I hadn't experienced in all my days of chasing after him, trying to change things and even perhaps succeeding a time or two in getting a romantic phrase out of him. But as my mind went, as it sometimes does, to the only actual "relationship" I'd ever been in, and how serious--yet romantic--it was, and how it ultimately ended, it came to me that, maybe in the end, roses and daydreams aren't what I want after all. Maybe what I'd really like is just wildflowers and laughter.

Today I looked at some beautiful pictures of roses and rose bouquets on the Internet. I could practically smell the sweet scents rising from the computer screen, and I wanted them--oh, I wanted them. And I rethought the conclusion I'd come to earlier... Maybe I wanted roses after all!

But then I thought: I want the roses. I was not imagining a guy giving them to me--I wanted just the flowers. Because I love flowers! I have always loved flowers. Flowers are poetry in themselves--but that's a blog for another day.

So now I'm confused. What do I want? Do I want roses and daydreams? Or do I want wildflowers and laughter?

I talked about it with a friend of mine. I asked her which she would choose. Knowing my friend, it didn't surprise me when she answered right away, "Both." But as I thought about that some more, I guess that's what every girl wants: someone who gives her flowers and makes her laugh. (Did you catch that, guys? :) )

But if I had to choose... If I had to choose between a guy who gave me flowers and a guy who made me laugh... I think I'd choose the guy who made me laugh. Flowers can be found anywhere. You can buy them yourself if you want to! And flowers fade... Flowers die. Laughter doesn't die--at least not in the way flowers do. Finding a guy who can make you laugh, and make you laugh often--that's rare. That, I think, is what I want.

But I'm still thinking. :)

-Stephanie

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