This has been an extremely interesting day.

It started with Lute, the guy who likes me. I hardly saw him in first hour today because he was doing airbrush art while I was doing computer art, and after class--he usually walks me to my locker--I just didn't feel like I could talk to him today. So I went out of there without him. He was right behind me, and I knew it, but I tried to act like I didn't realize it. I walked fast... I was scared. Of what, I couldn't tell you. I just couldn't talk to him--I didn't know what to say; it was so awkward being liked by him since I don't like him that way.

He was hurt. As I passed him in the hall, walking with Elizabeth back from 3rd hour, he tapped my shoulder and bent towards me real quick to hand it off. "Oh! Thank you," I said, surprised. As soon as he was away, I remarked to Liz, "Oh, no! He's going to ask me out!" I was suddenly embarrassed and incredibly amused at the same time. He'd written me a note! And the blend of emotions just increased as I read down the notebook paper. It read:

"Stephanie, Hey babe! How's it going? What was up this morning? I don't know if you were mad or what. I tried to wait for you, but you just bolted. I just thought it was weird because you let me walk you to second period everyday. In case you haven't noticed, I like you. Would you please let me know what's going on? Even if I can't fix it, I give good hugs and these help a lot sometimes. I was gonna call out to ya when you were running away, but I figured that you would give me a death-look and I didn't really need one so I just let you go. That was probably my bad for just lettin you walk off. I just wanna know if it was something I did or didn't do. Even if it has nothing to do with me, I'll still listen and I'm always here for hugs. Write me back, give me a hug, whatever you need to do....Just don't be mad. But, I really would like to know what's bothering you and we don't exactly get a lot of chance to talk... So give me something back if you want to...."

Oh my gosh! I felt so bad! The whole time reading it, I was like, Oh, Lute, I wasn't mad at you! You poor guy! I'm so sorry! Of course, I wrote him back immediately. Let me tell you, that was a smart move. I was emotionally charged enough to tell the raw truth. If I had waited to write him back, my--quote, unquote--"logic" would've kicked in and I would've tried to say what he wanted to hear. That wouldn't have been the truth at all!

So I told him, in a jumble of words--even if I do tell the truth well when emotions take over, I can't promise it'll be totally clear! :D --that he was the first guy who'd liked me and I was the shy & reserved type, so I already didn't talk to people well, and I was afraid to talk to him because I didn't know what to say to a boy--especially one who liked me. I apologized profusely, of course. LOL. I felt soooooo bad!! Tomorrow I'll definitely wait for him, regardless whether I can think of anything to say.

Anyway. I gave that note to him after 4th hour when I saw him in the halls walking to lunch, with a big, big apologizing smile. Then I hurried away to lunch. I hope he didn't take that the wrong way. I just didn't want to be right there to witness his reaction.

I'll have to tell more later; I've been online too long now. Bummer! This is a great story. :D

-Stephanie