Stephen is sick and I'm learning again. He has mono and it has affected his tonsils, so he can't talk very well. I went over to take care of him at about 4:30 today. I brought lots of stuff to do, but still got bored, especially when we discovered our couples counseling appointment is next Wednesday, not today. It made me melancholy, and Stephen kept asking me what was bothering me. I didn't have a better answer than, "I'm bored," which, of course, isn't the most explanatory answer. I didn't really know what was wrong until I started writing in my journal.

I was bored for the lack of conversation. It makes sense when I think about it. I never thought I needed conversation or talking, because I have always been so shy. But I've always kept diaries. I write and write and write. Writing is the introvert's form of talking--of putting feelings into words.

As I've gotten older, I've overcome my shyness a lot. And although I'm still an introvert at times, I can be very extraverted. Especially with my fianc�. :) My conversations with him have filled my need for talk--for putting my feelings into words--for getting feedback. But since he's sick he can't talk much and I can't get that need filled. That's why I was so unhappy.

After I wrote in my journal, my need to get feelings into words was filled, and I plunked down next to him, my normal, smiley self again. I told him what I'd written about and asked him if it would be okay, while he's sick, to just ramble away to him sometimes. He said that'd be fine. :)

-Stephanie

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