Facebook is weird.

Our one-year anniversary is coming up and I posted up a couple pictures and messages on Facebook about it. I got a comment on my picture already, from my cousin Brian, who is about 10 years older than me (maybe 15?) and whom I've only seen about twice in my entire life. He said, "Congrats, you two!" It struck me as a rather familiar way of saying it, from somebody who I'm very much not familiar with, except from what I've seen on Facebook.

It's an odd feeling, getting a familiar remark from an unfamiliar person; it's probably just as weird getting unfamiliar remarks from a familiar person. My conclusion? Facebook is weird. It does weird things to relationships.

Speaking of familiar remarks from unfamiliar people, Facebook's weirdness has another side. I won't say it brings people closer together, but it certainly brings things forward for some people that you wouldn't have heard otherwise. On Wednesday I had kind of a rough day and mentioned it in my Fb status. I got a couple nice remarks from Stephen's family and one or two of my good friends, but the most meaningful remark came from the most unexpected place. An old classmate of mine from high school wrote that she was sorry [I'd had a rough day], that I was a beautiful person, and a regretful wish that we'd gotten to know each other better in HS. Completely took me by surprise! I thought it was awfully nice of her to step out and say those things to me.

So, yeah. Facebook does funny things to relationships between people. I'm still not sure I like everything it does to relationships and I'm going to still try and focus on building up "real," in-person relationships with people I love the most instead of letting them get cyberized. Guess we'll just see what happens to the rest?

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I wrote a blog on Facebook relating to this topic. Here it is:

Facebook is weird. It does weird things to relationships.

Have you ever gotten a rather familiar remark from a person who is relatively unfamiliar to you?

On the flip side, have you ever gotten a seemingly unfamiliar remark from someone who you considered yourself more familiar with?

I've received (and given!) both types of remarks, and lately I've been realizing I've been letting my "real," in-person relationships get cyberized. I've been thinking that fast communication is good for stuff you want fast responses to, and blogs and e-mails are great for getting information quickly to or from a large group of people, but aren't long, in-depth conversations and time spent together what hold individual friendships together?

What are you doing to hold your "real," in-person relationships together? Does cyber-communication have its place in friendships you want to hold on to? Or is it just a deterrent and a distraction?

I wanted to add just a rhetorical question to myself. Which relationships DO I want to hold onto? I have 353 friends on Facebook. Which ones am I holding onto because I'm holding onto my past? Which ones are worth the grip? Which friends would be open to starting a real friendship, from where we are now, forgetting what judgments we had about each other in the past, whatever minidrama makes up part of our history? Can you ever really forget the past and forge new friendships like that? Or do you have to forgive each other first and then just simply move on?

-Stephanie

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