Cinderella
By Steven Curtis Chapman

She spins and she sways
To whatever song plays
Without a care in the world
And I'm sitting here wearing
The weight of the world on my shoulders.

It's been a long day
And there's still work to do
But she's pulling at me
Saying, "Dad, I need you.
There's a ball at the castle
And I've been invited
And I need to practice my dancing.
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms.
'Cause I know
Something the prince never knew.
I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song.
'Cause all too soon,
The clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone.

She says he's a nice guy,
And I'd be impressed.
She wants to know if I
Approve of the dress.
She says, "Dad, the prom's only
One week away,
And I need to practice my dancing.
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms.
'Cause I know something the prince never knew.
I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song.
'Cause all too soon
The clock will strike midnight,
And she'll be gone.

She came home today
With a ring on her hand
Just glowing and telling me
All they had planned.
She says, "Dad, the wedding's still
Six months away,
But I need to practice my dancing.
Oh please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms.
'Cause I know
Something that the prince never knew.
I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song.
'Cause all too soon
The clock will strike midnight
And she'll
Be
Gone.

Songs like this one (and Bob Carlisle's "Butterfly Kisses," and Michael W. Smith's "Anna") always make me cry. It came on the radio while I was at work on Saturday and I told Georgene, my supervisor, that it always makes me cry. She asked me if it was because of his daughter that died. No, I said--I'd never thought of it in that light--but growing-up songs, and especially father-daughter growing-up songs always make me cry. She asked if it was because I had never had that relationship, and I had to agree, although I'd never thought of it in quite those terms before.

As I drove away in the delivery van I started thinking about it more, why they make me cry. Not a good idea, LOL, because my eyes started filling up while driving. :) But it was some good thinking. I realized that those songs are about "moments" in a daughter's life where having a good dad is so vital, and I never had that. A daughter needs a good dad to give her a standard to measure men by, and it was obvious from the song that Steven Curtis Chapman (I'm just going to abbreviate that to SCC, 'cause I don't know what else to call him) was a good dad who built a good relationship with his daughter from very early on. It was easy to tell because in the 2nd verse, she honestly wanted his approval of the boy she was going to prom with and the dress she was wearing. That is a huge sign of a good dad, if he can have that kind of relationship with her when she's a teenager, where she trusts him enough to look for his approval of boys and clothes. And it started way early on, this good relationship--when her dad left his work and his stress load just to dance with her, because she wanted him and needed him. It's something if dads do that in times when they're in good moods--but to do that even when they are going through a difficult time is...not humanly possible. I can't think of any other way to put it. It's so obvious that he's a God-fearing man in that, by being able to put his children ahead of even his own stress.

It made me cry thinking of all the "moments" I had missed because I had no dad. But as soon as I thought that, I wondered, Are there more moments than just those? I mean, obviously those moments, those big milestones--first date, first boyfriend, first prom, wedding, etc.--are huge. But were there more? It occurred to me that there might be one more moment in my life where having a dad might be important: the birth of our first child. That's a pretty big milestone in life. But as I thought of it, the birth of a grandchild is not as big as any of the others. A father will not get as choked up over the birth of a grandchild as the birth of his own child.

But it was good to realize that my life "moments"--the big milestones--didn't end with my wedding. When I have a daughter (and I certainly do hope I will), I will get to see that choked-up look in the eyes of my husband. God willing.

So when I'm faced with sadness when I hear songs like those on the radio, I can think of having those moments with my own husband. Maybe I will never find redemption for those missed moments with a dad in my own life as a daughter. My childhood cannot actually be relived with a father in the picture, as much as my soul wishes it could be. But I will, Lord willing, go through those exact same moments with my husband, when we have a child.

Afterthought: What Georgene said stuck in my head, too. SCC adopted two girls from China at very young ages. Back in 2008, I think it was, the youngest of the two girls--she was 3 or 4 years old--was in the driveway when her older brother backed the car out. In a hugely tragic incident, the boy ran her over, and she died. It puts a much heavier meaning to the song. I can't imagine living with that all my life, either being the older son or the rest of the family. What a terrible tragedy.

Afterthought #2: And perhaps I won't go through those moments with my husband. But I hope that God will find other ways to redeem those missed moments in my life by helping me to realize my life is more than that, too. I'm not there yet--but if God doesn't grant me a child for some reason, I know that He can work in my life in other ways to help me realize my life doesn't center around redeeming my childhood.

-Stephanie

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