Ah, Facebook again. Bane of my existence, troubler of my soul. One of these days I'll just delete it altogether and then I won't have to worry about what it's doing to me anymore.

Sometimes I wonder if I had never gotten a Facebook, if I would be as lonely as I am. But now that I AM as lonely as I am, it feels impossible to let it go. It feels like I'd be signing my life off to a life of misery and depression. One of these days I'll figure it out; I'll figure out how to be happy without Facebook.

I'm saying all this in a very dry, almost angry tone.

Hmm...One solution might be to only delete my true friends. Hmm....I'll have to think that one over some more. I'm afraid my friends' feelings might be hurt. But if I deleted them off my list, we could go back to getting to know each other through other ways.

Or we could just stop being friends altogether. :/

What is the test of true friendship in a Facebook-saturated world? And I mean adult friendship, not teenager friendship.

What is the test of adult friendship anyway? I'm still trying to figure that one out. :P Grrr. Being an adult is SO TOUGH sometimes!

In other news....Minor concern. This kid named Kit who I went to NNU with Facebook-chats me a lot. He's extremely socially awkward and I think something is honestly probably not quite right in his head, although I'm not sure what it is. He's only awkward; he's not scary or anything. But he asked me out once. I turned him down, citing that I was interested in someone else at the time. (Well, the real reason was because I don't do well with people who are not quite right in the head; but it's true, I was interested in Ryan at the time.) Anyway. So the fact that he Facebook-chats me a lot is a minor worry. I wish Stephen knew him better, so he could give me a fair judgment on whether I should be concerned. He did meet him once or twice, however.

I'm not too worried. But I should still probably ask Stephen.

I wrote something embarrassing in my Facebook status today. Deleted it later. It was a mournful statement of how nobody wants to be friends with me. :) Plus some classic Stephanie back-and-forthing over what my heart says and what my head says, and some qualification for my dearest friends, Liz, Jenny, and Mindy. So yeah, it was a lot in one Facebook status. I deleted it because, while the people it was aimed at would probably understand, there's no sense opening myself up to ridicule, criticism and possibly damanged relationships on Facebook.

As I said. Facebook, bane of my existence, troubler of my soul. None of the old-school friendship rules apply! And those are the only rules I know! It's SO confusing. I don't know what I'm going to do. :( Dilemma, dilemma, dilemma....

-Stephanie

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