Stephen and I are finally taking practical steps toward the future. We've been having lots of big discussions lately, and we've finally reached a place where we don�t freak out at the mere mention of children anymore. So we�re taking a few steps past that, and we�re starting to prepare our office to become a baby room. Little by little, I�m going to cut down on stuff I don�t need or pack away stuff I want to keep. Eventually we�ll have to take out our office desks and my craft table, but perhaps they�ll just go into storage until we have a bigger place.

Obviously, we want a bigger place (our current apartment is 750 sq. ft.) with another bedroom eventually, but as things aren�t panning out that way for us, we�re going to start preparing the place we�re at now so we�ll at least be preparing for the reality of children. I think/hope God will give us a bigger place eventually, but I�m sick and tired of not living life in our present situation. I�m tired of being so stagnant because of the idea that �we�ll start our lives when we have a bigger place.� I want to move forward now so we can stop living for ourselves and start growing up again.

So yeah. Little by little, I�m getting rid of stuff. We�re going to need a lot of boxes.

There�s a lot going on in my heart, at least, right now. I�ve been especially convicted of late of how much of my life is centered around ME, and about how much our lives are centered around US, which is almost the same thing. When you�re married, it sounds like you�re, you know, involved in living life for the other person and whatnot. But the real truth is, when you get married, you two become ONE person, and if your life is centered around the two of YOU, that�s sort of the same as a single person centering their life around himself/herself. I simply mean that our lives/life hasn�t been centered much around living for others, as God commands us to be. We�re not involved in anything that pushes us outside of ourselves/self. There�that�s a good way of saying it. That has especially been true since we ended our Monday night Bible studies. I�ve been feeling a personal call to get more involved in a ministry or ministries, and I�ve been looking to the church to do so. I�m not sure how this pull to get out of oneself manifests itself in Stephen, but I�m sure there is a way.

So anyway. This is our stage in life now. It feels good to write it out.

Today�s sermon was especially convicting. After another of these deep conversations about where we�re going in our life yesterday, Paul (our pastor) preached about taking risks and trusting God with our lives. Extremely appropriate, I thought. All of Paul�s Ecclesiastes sermons I have felt have been extremely appropriate and applicable. I�m so glad he�s going through this series.

Well, Stephen and I are off to the beach and these thoughts will continue mulling around in my head. I�m just so relieved that we�re finally concretely moving forward with life. Thanks, God!

-Stephanie

And this marks my 1000th entry in my Diaryland diary!!! WOOHOO!!!! :D

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