So, I like a lot of indie artists--at least their sound. Many of the artists I've discovered via contemporary dance routines that move me on So You Think You Can Dance. Lately I've discovered Ingrid Michaelson. An amazing Travis Wall routine was done to her song "Turn to Stone" in the first week of season 8 of SYTYCD. So I looked her up and listened to a couple more of her songs.

She has a very pretty voice, and I like her casual, girl-next-door, but up-to-date look. She reminds me of my friend Rhonda a little bit. But as I listened to the sound and the lyrics, a deep sadness settled over me. Indie singers are so often such extremely sad people. Not in a flash-of-the-moment emo kind of way, but in a deep, irreversible, lifestyle kind of way.

As I mulled over this to Ms. Micahelson's music, several pieces fell together. My pastor has been preaching for quite some time on Ecclesiastes--"Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless!" In the first week, he told us what "under the sun" means and how it contrasts with "under the Son." (Which is cheesy, I know, but there's more behind it.) "Under the sun" refers to life as we see it here on earth--under the sun--without God in the picture at all. It's an extremely depressing way to live, because inevitably, if you believe this earth is all there is, you WILL become an existentialist, which is an extremely depressing way of looking at the world. I know. I've been there. And I have friends who are there still.

I realized that all my high school classmates that are still in the small valley I grew up in are suffering from existentialist, "under the sun" living. For them, there is nothing more to this life than what they see right now with their eyes. So they just enjoy what they can while they can--"before we turn to stone," as Ms. Michaelson sings. It looks like a happy life, because they do enjoy what is in front of them--but there is still that deep, background sadness lying not very far behind it.

I feel like saying to my friends: There is more to life. There is a God. He is in control. He is a God of love--He is a God of justice. He is Who we will all come to face at the end of this life.

Scarier to me than a God who judges justly is a God who has no power.

-Stephanie

Here, I just wrote it out roughly. This is how I feel.

I saw that. The flicker of emptiness behind your smile. You look so happy; you're so fragile. You're a mom, a college kid, you're on the search for love. You see the apple and love its taste, but deep inside you waste. You don't believe in God at all, or if He's there, unreachable. You don't believe He'd come for you; all that talk is rubbish. Intelligent people know better, you know. Because you've poked the holes, they're everywhere. Nothing can stop the water flow now. Emptier and emptier, your life unwinds. How strange, to enjoy the present and yet loathe existence. There's nothing out there, nobody to hear. It just doesn't exist.

Yet I see that flicker. The emptiness that you know shouldn't be, can't be, must not be. A handwritten message on your heart says there must be more; you've tried to snuff it out, you can't. All your education and all your experience tells you of its fallacy; you try to stamp it out, more and more aggressively when the kids are asleep. A mother love must come from somewhere, must point to something. You don't believe it, or do you?

If you hold out much longer you'll disintegrate. You want justice--but there isn't any, so why search for it? You want love--but it is empty, so why pursue it? You realize the imperfection--but if there is no perfection, what nonsense is this?

I'll tell you something, it isn't nonsense. Those codes that tell you how life ought to be were written by somebody and meant somewhere. Not here. There must be more. You can't deny it. You can't live this way, in this void; you scramble and claw for more. It's right there, on those pages, do you see it? Black and white, clear and plain; He's there, He loves justice, He loves you. Learn about the barrier. Learn the way around it. It's right there, on those pages, in a letter written to ancient people that maintains to this day. Read 1, 2, 3, and 5. There is a way. Your key is: Romans.

previous || next

Miss Something?

Social Anxiety with Guys - February 07, 2024

Education Expo with an ADHD Kid - February 03, 2024

Lovely Church Experience - October 22, 2023

Seek Out Community in Christ - August 29, 2023

Grieving Lost Friendships - May 08, 2023