"I figure if the new grandparents want to see their granddaughter, they should come see us." My best friend's words on holiday planning. Sounds so harsh to me... My family means all the world to me and, yeah, I'd travel with a new baby to see them for the holidays. But part of that is because we just live in an apartment. If I had a house like Liz does, I guess that could make sense, to make your family come see you. My friend Denise, who has 3 kids of her own (and is expecting a 4th), feels the same way about it.

It's so hard for me to imagine forcing my family to come see me, though, instead of me going to them. I'm so much more mobile...But then again, I'm thinking of my grandparents, who are in their 70s--and Grandma has terrible arthritis. She couldn't do a 6-hour drive and I wouldn't want her to in the middle of winter, either. :/

Oh, Diary. Everybody else's life is so different than mine! They live by such different rules. My family's dynamic has just been so different than others.

I wonder if my little cousin (not so little anymore--she'll be 14 in March! :-O) will feel the same way when she is an adult. Her parents had her late in life, so they are closer to the age of grandparents than parents, especially my uncle, who is 9 years older than my aunt.

It isn't just the age; it's the dynamic, the feel. But that is changing, too. Has already changed. Never was as I imagined? Sigh. I don't know.

I'm depressing myself. LOL. I always do this.

Oh well.....We'll get the holidays figured out....Somehow....

Options:

1. Holidays at Stephen's parents'.
2. Holidays with Mom and Gail.
3. Holidays at Grandma and Grandpa's.
4. Holidays at home.

Why this is confusing:

1. My mom is single and lives near me.
2. My grandparents helped raise me and live far away from me.
3. My aunt was always there in my life, too, and is single and lives near me.
4. My sister is a Marine and lives way far away.
5. My husband's parents are my adopted parents, have 2 children at home (Cari went away to school this week for the first time), and live relatively close.

The major difference this year that makes this trickier than usual is that my aunt is no longer dating the guy she has been spending her holidays with for the last 4 years. So she's left alone, too. So Mom and Gail are alone, my grandparents are alone, and Stephen and I can travel to see any of them. And who knows what the Marines will let my sister do.

So oy. I don't even know how to ask my aunt about her holiday plans this year, because the breakup has been so hard on her and I don't want to cause her more pain.

FAMILY! Please get better and heal! I know it's painful, but you have got to heal. You have got to heal.

:(

Lord in heaven, my family is so broken. Not just in physical dynamic, God. They are broken from the pain they have been through. Lord God, they need your divine intervention in their lives. They are aware that they are hurting but unaware how to help it. Lord God, please, please, please show my family the light. Show them You. Show them Your love. Please, please, make Yourself evident to them, instill hope in them, tell them why they're here, O God. Let Stephen and I be vessels of your light and healing to them, Lord, please! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Perhaps the Lord has separated us to help us realize our brokenness. But I'm just afraid that my family will live in their depression instead of looking to the Lord for hope. :P My family lives life "under the sun." They believe in the Gospel, but don't understand how the Gospel gives them hope now. That God will redeem their pain--IS redeeming their pain. They don't see that.

Father, make your plan evident to them.

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