A really terrible day has ended on a really good note.

I won't go into all the bad parts of today--car maintenance and surprise prices sums it up!--but the good part....Steve and I are taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University right now, and something happened tonight that changed and I started actually communicating with my hubby.

I've been hiding a huge part of me for the entirety of our marriage--don't ask me what that part is, precisely, just a BIG part essential to me--and tonight I let him in on it. It's rather been a work in progress, actually, since last week when I read about being open and honest in Willard Harley Jr.'s His Needs, Her Needs. Tonight I just let loose and disclosed myself to him. No deep, dark secrets or anything, LOL--just the parts of me I have been afraid he wouldn't like.

I'm going to be more honest with everybody in my life from now on.

I LITERALLY felt like a totally different person. So much so that I went around the house after our great talk, sort of in a trance, LOL, looking around at the house, at this life I've built for myself--or rather, this life I've built around myself--and saying out loud, "This isn't me."

I have a coat rack full of coats that are literally not me. I could do away with 90% of them. But some of them I won't because they are me in a sort of way.

What was cool about this feeling that I was a completely different person was that I wasn't afraid of Stephen seeing it. Only it's more like, I liked the idea of being me more than I was afraid of him not liking me. If that makes any sense.

So yay. :) All this while I've been trying to figure out who I am...What I've really been trying to do is be somebody else. Some other girl. Some other me that was never me at all.

To conclude, here's my Facebook status post: "I'm a different Stephanie tonight. More me and less...whoever that other girl was I was trying to be. :) And peace. Lots of peace."

Yay!

~ME~

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