Stress stress stress stress STRESS STRESS STRESS!

Today was a successful, but stressful day.

As part of Dave Ramsey's class, Stephen and I are trying to sell as much stuff as possible. The extra cash will go to paying off debt faster. So I've been putting stuff up on Craigslist. And let me tell you, it is HARD! But that's a different entry for a different day.

Today I sold a bunch of cat stuff for $35. So that was successful, but I tell you, waiting for people to get back to you when it's Craigslist you're working with is a pain the rear!! She said she could come over at 6:30 and at that point it was 5:45. YIPES! I e-mailed her back and asked if she could make it 6:45 so I could get things ready (i.e. pick up my house!). Then as I waited for her response, I scrambled around the apartment picking up and sweeping and putting away. At 6:00 I still hadn't heard back from her, so I called her at the number she gave and left a message. She finally called back at a quarter after seven and came over and got it.

I was trying to give away some construction paper for free. But the first person didn't work out so now another person is coming to get it. I hope this person actually follows through.

By far the most stressful part of today was trying to find my way to my friend Melissa's house to consult with her about The All Natural Face makeup. She only lives 15 minutes away, but it's tricky to get to her townhome, and I was dumb and listened to Google Maps, which doesn't know anything about navigation. RAWR! I took a wrong turn and got lost. I called Melissa 3 or 4 times before I finally found my way into the complex and finally to her townhome! My goodness!

BUT it ended quite successfully. She bought $25 worth of products. I only make $8 off of that, but still! Very nice to have some success with the All Natural Face!!

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Oct. 19: And that was the end of it. It's over. I'm not trying to sell anymore of my stuff; it's over; I'm done.

Diary, my cat has fleas. And I didn't think of it in time to tell the family that took the cat tree. So Stephen called them up. And they're returning the cat stuff today.

IT IS NOT IN GOD'S WILL FOR ME TO SELL MY STUFF, DAVE RAMSEY!!!!

I so just want to cry right now.

I completely understand the family's desire to return the stuff. I'm just really upset that there had to be a concern for fleas at all. That means we won't be able to sell the dumb thing to anybody! And that was the thing I had the most potential to make $$$ from, because all of the rest of my junk is cheap crap that nobody wants, especially not for a price. And all I am doing is trying to be good in Dave Ramsey's class. And it is sucking because this sell-stuff business is NOT working out at all.

I wrote earlier that how hard it is to sell my stuff is another entry for another day, but I think I'll just add it on here. I keep everything for a reason. It is always tied to people or memories, the two things I want most desperately to hold onto in my life. So I'm very emotionally attached to every single item I own, and that is no joke, otherwise I would be able to sell it! Those magazines over there that I haven't opened? They're a gift subscription from my grandmother. Those art supplies over there? I used them in my college art class, with the young dark-haired teacher who reminds me of that actress in Stranger Than Fiction. I learned to use charcoal in that class--who knows, I MAY get better at it! Someday. When I pick it up again. Besides, art supplies are expensive, and if I ever DO want to pick it up again, I'll have them instead of having to spend a lot to buy them again.

Little stuff like that. That flower pen that I think would be better as a hair decoration? My mom gave me that 'cause she thought I'd like it and when she comes into my office she notices it. :/

And I haven't even mentioned the box of high school trinkets that remind me of red lockers and beige tile. I have SOME good memories from high school...Of course, they don't involve red lockers or beige tile. But if I follow that hallway down in my mind I mentally see the door to Mrs.--oh dear, I can't remember her name! My French teacher. I loved that class. I see her face as clear as a bell but I cannot call to memory her name. It was not French at all; she was very not-French, but she had made a life career out of studying something she loved. And it was very short. And I think it started with H?

I wonder. I wonder, if I give up the stuff that people have given me, if I might value the people more that gave it to me instead of the stuff given...Hmm...

And I also wonder, does real memory work like computer memory? If I free myself from memories of childhood, high school, college and forget everybody but the main characters, will I be more likely to remember my own children and grandchildren? What about the non-main characters I forget--will they be sad that I don't remember them, if I ever see them again?

This is the first time I've ever really put these thoughts into words. It's getting long; I probably should've done a separate post. :/ Anyway, I should probably move on. Get out of my little office before I get depressed! :P Oy. When will I figure it all out, Lord?

-Stephanie

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