Arrgh. A recent blog post of an acquaintance got me riled up about something I haven't been riled up about in a long time: girls trying to figure out what God wants in their life in relation to a certain boy.

It is so frustrating being on the other side of the equation and not knowing yet how to convey truths you've learned.

Anyway, this young woman is obsessing over a particular guy, and I do mean obsessing. Among other things, she says she has prayed over and over that God would get him out of her mind, but, according to her, "God hasn't answered her prayers; [the boy] keeps coming back to mind." No. Freaking. Kidding. That is what praying obsessively DOES! It feeds the obsession. I should know. I WAS that girl for every single one of my crushes. Every. Single. One. I can name them all and how my obsession manifested itself.

Anyway.

And the most frustrating part is that--and this I can also identify with--what's screwing her up the worst is that she's got it in her head that everything is up to her, which is a chorus I am getting really tired of hearing in the Christian community. And I know some people just think of that as a theological difference, but honestly, I cannot imagine going back to thinking everything is up to me. Living that way is a nightmare, not to mention an exercise in utter futility. And how exactly does that make Christianity different from any other religion? That is my big question. Finally, I have felt and seen myself grow SO much more when I just simply turn my gaze to Christ and the Cross and off myself. Tremendous growth, and to realize it is totally God doing it and not me is the most freeing thing I have ever experienced. (Says the girl who has lived her entire life as a perfectionist. :) )

I feel like I just wrote a whole mini-essay in one paragraph. Sounds like the start of an entry for Stand On Grace. :)

*Sigh* So anyway... The real reason this brings so much frustration to me is that I know I do not have the kind of relationship with this girl to address such a deep, multi-layered issue. Urgh. So I sidestepped the core issue(s) and left her a comment gently addressing other errant thinking I saw in her blog related to the same issue. It's all I can do at this point. :/

What is the point in a relationship with someone at which you can get right to the heart of the problem and perform, if you will, "heart surgery" on them? Is it better to be blunt and to-the-point no matter what the relationship is, or should you really try and establish a relationship of trust with a person just so you can help them later? Or is it better to just let it all go and just pray God works on them? (I've been asking myself these questions a lot lately... :P )

Hmm.

Letting it go and "just praying" about it are two different things, aren't they? Letting it go is passive; praying about it is active. Hmm.

So my next question is, how many people should I be actively praying for? And watching for results?

But then again...Perhaps praying for someone and watching for results is just another way obsession disguises itself, eh? Something to think about.

Merf. Frustration.

-Stephanie

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