What a whirlwind week.

The beginning of the week was full of Christmas stress.

Two public shootings made national news.

Dealing with my sister's crazy comments on Facebook.

And yesterday I got a call from my work offering me my job back.

And after a long, hugely emotional, way too detailed discussion with Stephen, and a rough night of sleep, I finally called the shop back and declined my old job, in favor of pursuing design.

I haven't made this public knowledge yet, because they might call me again. And then I will have to go through the torment of indecision all over again. And I would just prefer not to tell people how difficult this is for me, because I could never explain it to everyone in a way that they could fully understand.

So. The short of it is, I declined because as long as I have a steady job at a flower place, I don't have the motivation I need to actually pursue design. But aside from that, which is true, after 2.5 years of experience there as a driver, I have come to believe that I will never be seen as more than a driver there.

Georgene, who used to work there, confirmed this for me when I texted her: she told me that shop is the only one she ever worked at that doesn't allow drivers to design as well.

So.

Here I am.

Face to face with the question again.

Now what?

-Stephanie

previous || next

Miss Something?

Social Anxiety with Guys - February 07, 2024

Education Expo with an ADHD Kid - February 03, 2024

Lovely Church Experience - October 22, 2023

Seek Out Community in Christ - August 29, 2023

Grieving Lost Friendships - May 08, 2023