Well, I turned in my resume to the florist down the street from me. Told him I was looking for a job in floral design and offered myself for part-time help around the holidays.

He asked me why I wasn't going to be working at the florist I just came from.

Wasn't expecting that question. I just told him that the new management hired someone to replace me, and that I thought I'd try something closer to home. Which is true; I'd love to work just down the road.

But it makes me worry. Is it a bad thing if I don't apply there because I don't think they'll ever think of me as good enough to be a designer? I could obviously never tell a florist that, or else they would question my abilities as a designer.

I found out D is still working there, my old boss. I would like to stay away from being there as a designer as long as she's there. I like her as my boss if I'm a delivery driver, but I'm very much afraid of her opinion of me as a designer. :/

But I offered myself up as holiday help there, too, back when I got let go. What on earth am I going to do if the old florist calls me at Valentine's Day to ask if I'll work? I mean, if they ask if I'll work as a driver, I'll say no. But what if they say okay to me being a designer for once? What will I tell the man I spoke to today at the nearby florist if he calls me as well? "They got to me first"?

What a dilemma. I can't wait until Stephen is home so I can talk this out with him. :/ I did not realize politics surrounding floristry in a metropolitan area would be so sticky...Starting my own business is beginning to sound more appealing. :S

-Stephanie

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