Agh! My brain is all over the place today!! For the first half of the day I was deliriously happy for so many reasons.

1. It was sunshiny.
   
2. My tulips and hyacinths are starting to budge out of the ground.
   
3. It's FEBRUARY!! (My favorite month...For about a million reasons.)
   
4. Stephen got paid yesterday. (This was a super, super tight pay cycle, so the relief that it's over is almost overwhelming.)
   
5. We're going to a "ball" tomorrow (a.k.a the winter party his work does every year).
   
6. I won the drawing at the library for the $20 gift card to a bookstore!

So, as I said, I was deliriously happy. And then at the library I had to tell Laurie and Trish about my new job that I start next week. And I got super incredibly anxious about it all over again. Especially because I have NO IDEA what my hours are going to look like, and I reallyreallyreally want to stay at the library, especially on Thursdays, but I don't know if I'll be able to.

And then I started thinking about all the ways I am unprepared for this job, and it was all downhill from there. LOL.

The hugest thing I have going for me is that I reallyreallyreallyREALLY want to be a floral designer. And a grain of self-confidence, because I really do truly think I can design.

But that is about all I have going for me!

I don't know how to take orders on the phone. It's been ages and ages since I had a job like that, and my last experience with customer service was not a peaceful one (Domino's).

And I don't know how to tell Gary, the manager, how extremely little I know about what I'm doing. I mean, when you approach a potential employer, you're supposed to act all sure of yourself and like you have all the experience in the world so they'll hire you, but then what do you do after you get hired when it isn't even true that you have experience and confidence? It's such a stupid system that just makes me angry, because it puts me in awkward positions like this.

So I'm freaking out just slightly.

But when Stephen gets home it will all be better, because I can ramble to him about this and he'll be able to tell me whatever it is I need to know. :P

I think I need to stop by the flower shop tomorrow and let him know what I will need training on...Or something.

You know what really stinks though? I only have ONE professional shirt. One. And I wore it to my interview. So what do I wear to approach him again? :(

Have I mentioned how much I dislike beginning new jobs? Nothing brings out more insecurity in me. Ick.

-Stephanie

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