I superly cannot kick this cold. (Amy, I know how you feel now!) Although today I woke up without feeling totally awful. Improvement???

It's been a fun week, though. (Despite the fact that I had to miss the women's Bible study Thursday night because of being sick! SO sad!!) Wednesday we had Will and Savannah over for a Bible study. Takeaway from that: I need to be more engaged in the Bible study part. :P Saturday morning, we went to the tulip fields with our friends Amy and Jon. Takeaway from that experience: The tulips were amazing, Amy and Jom are really good parents, and sometimes I think they are trying to parent us a little, too, LOL. Then Saturday night we had Heidi and Alex over. They're hitting some road bumps as the "honeymoon phase" of their marriage ends. Takeaway from that: Keep praying for Alex, and homemade face masks are SUPER fun!!!

I guess this week has had it's rough patches. The apartments we have been looking at are just not coming down to our price range, plus the management seem to be playing games with us, which I am very not okay with. Yesterday was tough as we came to grips with the fact that we will probably be signing on another lease with this apartment. A whole host of emotions come with that: grief that our dream of moving to a nicer place just got turned to dust, fear that we won't be able to afford living anywhere near here next year (not even this place!!) as they keep raising the prices, gladness that we don't have to leave our wonderful neighbors, peace as we realize our apartment isn't so bad and that we're doing the right thing, relief that we don't have to do the hard labor of moving, and dogged determination to make our darn place beautiful, functional, and livable! (And did I mention fear as we look a year into the future when we're REALLY not sure what we'll do? That one hits me in waves!)

But despite that tough day yesterday, it was hard to feel down for long. The sun has finally returned and brought beautiful temperatures with it and lighting up everything and turning it all hopeful. We visited rhododendron gardens, which were stunningly gorgeous, and we drove around back country roads a lot and were reassured by the beauty of the area we live in. And on Sunday, for the first time, I actually felt a genuine "family" connection to some of the people in church, thanks to the retreat and the women's Bible study. I have been waiting for that feeling for so. Long. And I got it on Sunday. Praise the Lord for His goodness!!!!

Another blessing is the peace we have about this moving/not-moving bit. I haven't mentioned it, but we're doing Dave Ramsey's FPU for the second time right now. We both felt motivated to take it again, and I think this apartment thing is exactly why God moved us to do so. It really is the financially wise & smart thing to do, to stay here another year, even if it is not what we wanted. Dave would be proud of us, LOL. :)

I cried when it became clear yesterday that we wouldn't be able to pursue our dreams. But I cried for an entirely different reason than I did last year when Stephen wanted to sign another 12-month lease on this place. Last year I cried because I was sure that would mean not having children, ever.

This year we've both (although it hasn't been easy!!!) come to a place where won't let this place postpone our children decision. No, this year, I cried for the oddest reason. Because I so desperately want to live somewhere beautiful. The place we were thinking of moving to is beautiful. And that is what has been so incredibly appealing to me all along. Our current place is prettier than it was (they did a nice outside paint job last year), but still needs so much help inside, and as an artist who spends most of her time indoors, a beautiful living space is very important to me.

SO. When we sign our lease here, there are *so* many changes I want to make! The nice thing is, we will have a chunk of money saved up to do some of it with! We were saving a chunk of money to help us with moving expenses--now we can just use it to make our current place more livable. I'm really really excited about this and I hope Stephen doesn't change his mind and suggest using it for something else. At least I've got him sold on the idea of a new table & chairs. Even that would be a huge improvement!! I would also like to get rid of our black chair and get a pretty slipcover for our couch to go with my slightly "shabby chic" theme. (LOL...I have a rug and a vase...That's the extent of my "theme." :D )

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII love shabby chic. By the way. Or vintage French, anyway. I've been head over heels for it since I went to all those craft fairs last fall/winter. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE! There are more (craft fairs) going on right now and I'm learning about all these antique stores and I seriously have to restrain myself to keep from driving all over creation to them. :D

Right...So I think I just totally derailed myself with excitement, and this entry is long enough anyway. ;) Time to go!

Happy,
Stephanie.

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