(I swear I wrote other entries between the last entry and this one...I guess they just didn't get finished and published. :P )

I just feel like crying. I'm not sure what the reason really is. Maybe it's the letter from my dad sitting beside me on the table, still unopened, even though I got it yesterday. I don't know why he is writing to me again, but I don't want him too.

Maybe it's because of reading the Penderwicks book #3 yesterday, a part where something happens that sends all their lives into another emotional upheaval and hitting a little too close to home for me. Jeanne Birdsall is very gifted at writing about how children's emotions are affected by huge things that happen.

Maybe it's because the trees are starting to turn red here and I'm not ready to think about fall yet.

Maybe it's because Heidi wants me to talk more about having children than I am prepared to talk about it. But I know she's only asking because she's scared, too.

Whatever the reason, I'm messed up and I wish Stephen were home so I could melt into him and put all these things away until I can better navigate the depths of my heart. And it's really hard to think about vegetables that need to be chopped when I'm like this. :/

-Stephanie

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