Hmm.

Message I just sent Heidi after she asked when I'm free to hang out next:

Hey Heidi, I'm having a rough week. Like, "I wish I were in counseling" kind of rough. There's a lot of big life lessons hitting me all at once, like about the purity of forgiveness and the difference between the deep, spiritual love that God pours out through a Christian and the watered-down version of that love that comes from a nonChristian. And I don't know why I'm telling you this except that I want you to know that I'm not sure I could handle our usual friendly get-together this week, even though I really really enjoy them when I'm not having such a hard week. And it's not because I don't want you to know about everything, because I do, it's just that I can't make myself talk about it out loud with anybody but Stephen right now. Although writing about it is way easier. So I guess what I'm saying is I do want to get together with you soon but maybe after my emotions have calmed down a little and I'm able to talk about things more. It's just that I'm not sure if that'll be before you go back to working.

I surprised myself by being so incredibly honest with her. It's a good sign to me. I'm glad my heart is trying to trust more, little by little, starting with Heidi.

PRAISE THE LORD.

-Stephanie

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