I know this is going to make me seem bipolar, but I'm ridiculously happy today. Even though work was crazy stressful for the first half of the day and there were moments of utter failure. In the end the day turned out well, and I got the heartening message that Gary is still planning on keeping me on. I mean, he already has me scheduled out until the first week of October, but today he talked to me about my schedule after October and how it's going to level out and be way more predictable--probably Monday, Tuesday, Thursday. Which is STILL about the perfect amount of hours! I love this!

And since he's talking about my future schedule as if I "belong" to the shop now, it means I'm NOT an utter failure!!! HURRAH!!

AND I get to go to a design show at the end of September!! I am suuuuuper excited about that.

So, yeah, job realm is going g-r-e-a-t.

Personal realm is still hard.

It has to do with the decision to go off birth control. Which we haven't stopped it yet, but we're going to soon.... We're both terrified.

The good news is, when I think about how it'll affect *just* me and Stephen, I'm totally at peace about the decision. It's when I start to think about how other people are going to react that I get really, really anxious. I really need to STOP caring so much what other people think. Especially a certain someone who raised me, whose opinion apparently bears the most grievous weight for me still. :P

Enough of that. I don't want to be depressed.

Bottom line is: I need to stop worrying about what she thinks of me so much. I need to stop the obsession with being whatever it is she considers a blazing success.

And hope in God instead.

-Stephanie

Entry title from: Mighty Fortress by Sovereign Grace Music

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