There is some unquenchable part of me that desires to try and make people less foolish. Tries to make them make good decisions. Tries to turn people's lives around so they don't end up trainwrecking them.

And so I find myself surrounded by people who are trainwrecking their lives.

Gotta get out of this habit.

I've seriously contemplated counseling many, many times, and probably would if it weren't for the price. For now I'm pondering CoDA meetings (Codependents Anonymous), because I think they are free.

But my biggest problem is not falling all over myself to help people as much as it is the anger that boils underneath when I've had a long-term relationship with them and nothing changes. They don't see things as clearly as I do, even when I explain it to them a million times, and that angers me so much.

I know that's a pride problem. I go into the relationship honestly, truly hoping to help people. But it never works out. Somewhere along the way it always turns into a pride thing. Ugh. I wish I weren't always so inclined to run that direction. I make a most EXCELLENT "elder brother." (From Jesus' parable about the prodigal son--you know, the one who gets spitting-nails furious at his father for throwing a big party for his wayward brother? Yeah. That's been me. So many times.)

Sigh.

Thursday night (Bible study night) can't come fast enough.

You know... I could start going to both Wednesday morning and Thursday night... Hmm...

I need more Jesus. I need more of the Cross. I need the Gospel. I am saved by grace.

Saved by grace.

-Stephanie

previous || next

Miss Something?

Social Anxiety with Guys - February 07, 2024

Education Expo with an ADHD Kid - February 03, 2024

Lovely Church Experience - October 22, 2023

Seek Out Community in Christ - August 29, 2023

Grieving Lost Friendships - May 08, 2023