Want another baby?

How I feel when I think about it when I say it like that: a twist in my stomach.

I've been up and down on this one. I know I still have time, which is why I'm allowing myself to be so up and down. But letting yourself be up and down seems to make the decision harder.

Yesterday I decided, that if I do decide to have another baby, my main motivator will not be because I want one (which is why phrasing my question like I did above gave me a twist in the stomach). Because I don't want sleep deprivation. I don't want inconsolable crying. I don't want tiredness beyond tiredness. I don't want depression. I don't want short-temperedness. I don't want any of those things that come with newborn babies.

But it'll be similar to the reason I decided to have a kid in the first place: for some reason outside of myself.

We decided to go off birth control because we thought it was the right, dutiful thing to do.

If I decide to have another baby, it'll be because I want Micah to have a sibling.

Despite my relationship with my sister growing up, which was terrible, at least as far as I remember. I do remember a few times where we played together more or less peacefully, but I remember a LOT of terrible fighting.

But overall, I think kids having siblings makes them more well-rounded.

I think.

Except that when I think of my only-child cousin AleAnn, she's the most mature 16-year-old I know!

But then again, my aunt (her mom) is way better at discipline than I will ever be.

Hmm. I should talk to Glena more about how she raised AleAnn.

I do love my aunt Glena. I'm so glad she lives nearby now.

Anyway.... Did I have anything more else to say on this subject? I guess not for now.

-Stephanie

previous || next

Miss Something?

Social Anxiety with Guys - February 07, 2024

Education Expo with an ADHD Kid - February 03, 2024

Lovely Church Experience - October 22, 2023

Seek Out Community in Christ - August 29, 2023

Grieving Lost Friendships - May 08, 2023