I'm part of this group on FB called Reformed Pub (for Reformed believers). Today somebody posted a text message from a friend that sounded so familiar to me. The person was asking how to minister to their friend.

The friend said:

It's so hard when my thoughts are constantly that God is angry with me and he views me as an unrepentant hypocrite. I don't understand how I can be saved, new creation, growing in holiness, and yet still sin every day. Isn't that abusing grace which we aren't supposed to do? And not just sin because I'm human, but sin because I really want to.

He got several suggestions for ministering to his friend that were great, including reading through Romans, which I think would be super helpful for this person. But there was one thing that kept coming back to my mind. It was just so familiar.

So I said:

Honestly, to me, this person sounds...well...stuck on themselves. It's not about them and what they can do or don't do. That's missing the point entirely. But obviously, you'd have to have a special kind of relationship with this person to say something like that (and in person, not in text). In my case, the person who gave me this hard message was my husband. I was shocked, not that he would say that, actually, but that he was right--I suddenly saw it plain as day. In all my self-debasing actions and words, I was still making it about ME. But again, telling them all that would require a special relationship of trust.

A gentler route to go would be to remind them of our two natures. We have one nature, our old nature, that still wants to sin. But we also have our new nature, the one that we are becoming. Emphasis on the word "becoming." God doesn't just start a project to leave it half-finished. Remind them of Philippians 1:6. God has promised, and He will fulfill. What hope! God doesn't leave us to ourselves. He doesn't just let us keep sinning. He loves us too much for that.

If you've known this person for long and very well, you could tell them where you have personally seen improvement in their life, just to encourage them that although it may look like one step forward, two steps back, it's actually more like two steps forward, one step back. Progress is still happening, even if they aren't aware of it.

God is so much bigger than our failures. He has way, way bigger plans for this person's sanctification than they can even speculate.

This is the sort of thing I hope to say to Jessica someday: "God is so much bigger than your failures!! Do you really think your sins are going to keep the Lord God Almighty from fulfilling his promise??" She is really not even there yet, but someday.

-Stephanie

previous || next

Miss Something?

Social Anxiety with Guys - February 07, 2024

Education Expo with an ADHD Kid - February 03, 2024

Lovely Church Experience - October 22, 2023

Seek Out Community in Christ - August 29, 2023

Grieving Lost Friendships - May 08, 2023