It's been forever and forever since I mentioned Elizabeth in here. I think I ought to do that.

Her and Ryan's 1-year (dating) anniversary is coming up. And today I was sitting at dinner talking to two of my wingmates about weddings. There's a freshman here that got proposed to the other day!!! A FRESHMAN!!! And she and the guy had only been dating for 8 months.

I'm sorry, I just don't have any hope in that working out.

But I know I could easily be wrong. I don't even know who the girl is that got engaged.

But engaged!! As a freshman!!!!! That's just too much for my brain to handle.

So that got me thinking about Elizabeth and Ryan. He's really serious about her. Really. And today as Jenny and Rebekah and I were talking about weddings and engagements and crazy stuff, this horrible--well, I shouldn't say horrible, but that's what comes to mind!--thought came to my head. What if Ryan proposes to Elizabeth on their anniversary next month??

AAAH!!! The full weight of that thought just hit me on the head! My best friend? Lizzy? WHAT?!?!?

And so now I'm getting all worked up about it, and I don't even have any reason to think it! I'm terrible. :P I wish it didn't worry me so much, but it does. Not even for a selfless reason. It's 'cause I don't want Elizabeth to get engaged yet. She's still my best friend who I have known forever. I'm not ready for her to get engaged yet!

(rolls eyes) And again I'm reminded, I have no reason to even think that she will next month! Good grief. If she saw this... Oy, she'd either abandon me or be like, "Stephanie! What are you so worried about? Nothing like that's gonna happen." And inside she'd be actually hoping for it.

Man, I don't even know her anymore, really. Even though I call her my best friend, I know I'm not hers. Junior year of high school we didn't even see each other most of the time, senior year so much'd changed that we weren't able to talk anymore. Then Ryan came into the picture. I don't know anything about their relationship, other than he's serious about it.

And then here at NNU we have taken completely different turns of life--her major is Business Administration and mine's English Education. She knows where she's going in life and I don't.

I don't know, our relationship has just changed so much. I hate it. I don't hate her, I hate how we hardly know each other anymore. I don't like it at all.

So this, my friends, is me. I am adverse to change... VERY adverse to change. As much as you try to tell me "Change is good!", I won't believe you. I can look back on some changes from years ago and see how they were good, but essentially, during the change, I strongly dislike it.

Pretty silly, huh? You'd think if I see good in changes from the past I'd learn that all changes are not bad. Well, I don't learn that easily. :P Learning involves a changing of opinion--and therein lies the problem.

So. I guess I'll stop for now. The world's changing and I don't like it. End of story.

-Stephanie