Someone in the Pub asked a good question today.

She asked:

"For those of you who have already gone through your 20's, well into your 30's or beyond: Would you say that your friendships in your early 20's inevitebably needed to change as you went through your 20's? To where the friendships you had in your early/mid 20's changed drastically to what friendships you had in your late 20's? I ask this because I've heard that SO much happens in your 20's. Whether change in yourself, your circumstances, etc. that it actually changes, or strongly leads your friendships to change, because in a sense you grew out of the friendships that you had in your early to mid 20's, and they just wouldn't have actually worked for you in your late 20's, going into your 30's.
Would you say that there is truth to this?"

My answer:

I think it depends on how you approach friendships you make and how much effort you put into maintaining them. I think a lot of 20-somethings make friends just for someone to have fun with. They aren't thinking long-term. They aren't thinking of deeper connections. They aren't thinking with intentionality.
I have never been the sort to seek out friends just for fun. I have always sought friends for deeper connection. Because of that, I've been pretty intentional about who I start my friendships with, and I am getting better at being intentional about keeping them going now, too.
This isn't to say that I have never had friendships that fell by the wayside. There definitely have been. In the past, I haven't been good at maintaining, probably because of anxiety, which I am now medicated for. Meds have made taking initiative with friends I haven't spoken to in a while *less* scary, so I hope to reconnect with them again. I just need to squash that stubborn fear of rejection with security in the Lord. 🙂
I will say, I don't know that deeper connections are sustainable over long distance. There is something about in-person connection, especially as life phases and circumstances change, sometimes quite suddenly. Otherwise, you're just kind of playing catch-up all the time and you never get past that.

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