Chapter 17 was about showing affection to a guy--in other words, telling/showing him you like him--and attachment--in other words, going out with him. Some of the great points of this chapter were the questions for a girl to ask herself to see if it's all right that she expresses affection to a guy. Wow. I made a lot of mistakes. The first question is, "How well do I really know this guy? Am I confident enough about his character that I can express affection toward him without later regret?" Wow. Strike one in the first question. I hardly knew Nate... Definitely didn't know his character well. Literally all I knew about him was that he was sweet enough to hang out with me and even dance with me all night at the Homecoming Dance when I was so awkward and lovesick (with Logan, that is, not Nate). :)

There were a couple other strikes in the following questions, which were about motivations, but I didn't explain them in detail in my prayer journal... So moving on a few questions down. "Am I trying to show genuine appreciation for this guy, or do I have a hidden agenda?" That was simply a surprise as I took a look at my "hidden agenda" for recent days. Any show of affection for a guy now would be due to the hidden agenda of, as I wrote, "so he'll ask me out, and I'll find that it's HIM--The One--get married, and have kids..."

This doesn't apply to all girls, but to any guys who have not yet discovered this, most of the time a nice girl tells a guy that she likes him for exactly those reasons I just listed. I have just now been realizing that most guys are more like, "Oh, a girl I can hang out with for a while."

{grin} Kinda scary, guys, huh? :) Hope I haven't completely scared you away from girls, 'cause you might leave us lonely and that'd be terrible. The world's population would just eventually die out!! LOL.

Moving on... There were a few questions relating to whether the guy is unattached. Duh... You don't tell a guy who's taken that you like him! In the dating world, that puts so much pressure on him; he's caught between two girls striving for his affections, and not necessarily attached to one for a lifetime! I hope that most of you girls out there reading this know that rule. If not, you better learn it, because you're setting yourself, and the guy, up for a lot of hurt.

Since the book addressed this, I will, too. In the married world, all I can say is get your head on straight. Don't go chasing after a married man. There are PLENTY of other young men out there!

"If any of these questions raise a red flag in your spirit, consider keeping your affectionate expressions to yourself until you have 100 percent confidence that you are acting with integrity. Continue to be friendly, but don't show him any kind of special treatment as long as you are undecided about your motives." Good advice. Harder to follow than it would seem, especially if a girl is like me and looking everywhere for that special someone.

Although I have been discovering that God is strengthening my patience, which I think is great. As Andrew pointed out in his great entry, that's the first baby step to finding the guy: forgetting about finding him, and learning to be content being single. Something I'm still learning, but am indeed learning. Finally! I'm doing something right! :D

The last bit in the book about affection was to remember that just because you feel attracted to someone doesn't mean you should start dating them. Their recommendations were great--knowing a guy for a year, just on friendly terms, before deciding to become an "exclusive couple."

I liked that they used "exclusive couple." It's a good reminder that once you start dating someone he/she is your only option for the space of time that you decide to date them.

Anyway... One really good piece of advice that they gave was to keep judging this person's character the whole while--before expressing affection, after expressing affection (even if it's mutual--especially if it's mutual!), before AND during dating. That seems pretty simple to follow, I suppose, but trust me. Once I found out that Nate liked me, any shred of common sense I still clung to flew out the window! I was so happy to have discovered for the first time in my life a mutual attraction that it took away my breath and I could hardly think straight anymore.

That happiness, let me assure you, is absolute heaven. Possibly the best feeling in the world! But it just makes it so easy to throw out the normal sense you'd have.

You girls will probably do that anyway. Just remember: ALWAYS keep judging a guy's character. If you just hang onto that bit of advice, you can perhaps avert the complete loss of rational thinking. :)

This is getting really long. I'm sorry. Part of it is due to the fact that I'm listening to music and so it's distracting me, so I can't say exactly what I want to--and I spend a half an hour of needless explanation trying to say it right. :P

Attachment will come later, I guess. I actually almost considered splitting my reading of chapter 17 into two because the line between liking a guy and going out with him is such a huge one to cross.