Dear God, I was beginning to feel sorry for myself. It's my birthday--and nothing special is going on for me tonight. I won't even have the usual family pizza-and-cake birthday party.

I remembered that they still love me, and then I remembered You always love me. But it was head knowledge and I didn't FEEL loved.

"You seem kind of far away God," I thought to You. I remembered You never move; it's we who move. Then I remembered what I've heard at camp or at church: "If you're feeling as if God has moved, look at your life. When was the last time you felt close to God?"

It was when I was doing devotions every day, either out of Every Young Woman's Battle or the Upper Room devotionals. I looked at my Jan/Feb Upper Room devotional on my desk. I didn't want to pick it up, though I knew that was the "right" thing to do. So I looked at it and looked at it until I could somehow command my arm to reach out and pick it up.

"What do You have to say to me on my birthday?" I asked You. Then I thought sarcastically, "Probably something about loving others."

I took the pen out of the pages, which was holding my place between Feb. 9 and 10. I looked at Feb. 10 and read the title: "Growing in love." Underneath was the verse, "Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." (1 John 4:9)

And I couldn't help smiling.

God, how do You do that?

I read the short devotional about a woman so absorbed in her own little world that she was too shocked to say anything when a young cashier told her that she was "quite broken" today.

God, I don't want to miss out on opportunities to encourage others because I'm stuck in my own little world. I'd rather have You shine through me. Jesus, please forgive me for being selfish. I'm sorry that I let You feel far away. Lord, teach me how to shine when I'd rather not. I love You.

Love, Your 19-year-old daughter (today :) ), Stephanie