Rating: PG.

Okay, that was a bit scary... And stupid. Remind me Internet chat rooms are NOT interesting places to be.

Since I don't have AOL here, my favorite chat rooms (Bible Discussions and Christian Forum) are inaccessible. There are other chat rooms that are accessible that anyone can go into, and so, needless to say, most people in there are advertising their webcams or giving their A/S/L (age/sex/location, for the Netiquette illiterate) and demanding that people IM them. Apparently I forgot this. I was missing my old chat rooms and wondering if I could find any interesting chats available on AIM.com, and I went into one called "International Chat", thinking, Hey, cool, maybe I'll meet some French-speakers there! Well, that was silly of me to think.

Seriously, the first thing I saw was--in all caps, and in large-size print--"I JUST GOT MY NEW WEBCAM UP, COME AND SEE IT AT ____________.com!!!!" For Pete's sake.

I sat through about three minutes of this and then a guy with the screen name BPLeBron23 signed on. For non-French-speaking readers--and I know that's most of you--"LeBron" is a very French last name; I got excited and talked to him... Said something like, "Your last name looks very French. Where are you from?" Well, I didn't get a response... The guy left soon after. Maybe he only spoke French.

Then I got an IM. Yes, an IM. Not from Monsieur LeBron, but from another fellow in the chat room who had not said a word.

Instantly my guard went up. I accepted only because I recognized the guy's name from the room. "Hi," was the message.

"Hi...," I responded, and if you had heard me physically, you would've sensed the "why-the-heck-are-you-talking-to-me" in my voice.

"ASL," he said.

Oh, disgusting. I said what I was thinking. "Don't you have any better conversation-starting questions than that?" I was hoping he'd, like, cuss at me and leave or something... Instead, he answered, "I'm new to chat."

"Okay...," I said.

"Ok. What's your name?"

Hm... I decided to tell him. But he was NOT getting my location or age...Right? "Stephanie. What's yours?"

"Duane." Yep, it was a guy. (I had only assumed up till then; his s/n gave no hints.)

A few moments of "silence." (Isn't it ironic how we describe IM conversations the same way we describe real conversations, even though the sound elements are all taken out of it?) "So... What were you doing in the international chat?" I asked.

"It's a long story," he said. Ugh. Drama. "I was recently divorced and am looking to meet new people."

"Look somewhere else," was my rude answer. WHO-O-OA! I was being brutal! It felt good, actually. :P

"Especially from outside the US," he said.

"Ah. I'm from the US. I was looking for French speakers," I said shortly. (So much for keeping my location a secret.)

"Sorry," he apologized. "I don't speak French."

At this point, unfortunately, my real personality gave way and I stupidly continued the conversation instead of shutting him down like I had been doing up to this point. Somebody shoot me.

No, wait... Isn't that what I was trying to avoid? (Well, not quite. I'm trying to avoid being stalked and raped.)

"I don't think I would find many who do speak French in that room anyway," I continued the conversation. I could feel my "guard" lowering stage by stage. God protect me, because I do a horrible job of it myself!

"Have you been chatting long?" he asked. Did he mean in that room? No, he probably meant in my life.

"You mean in my life? Yeah," I said. "Let's see... About 5 years." Actually, it's been longer. I should've told the truth and possibly made him think I'm older than I am.

Then he tricked me. This is why I'm saying, someone shoot me. Honestly, how stupid can I be? "I'm probably a lot older than you," he said.

"If you were born in 1963, yes, you are," I answered. (His screen name had 1963 tagged on the end.) "Old enough to be my dad." CRUD! So much for keeping my age a secret! For heaven's sake!!! I should've just told him in the beginning and made it easier!

"I thought so," he said.

And then, misfortune of all misfortunes, my conscience struck me.

Why, oh why, wasn't I born a meaner, more distrusting person??

"I'm sorry for kind of being mean to you," I apologized, just like the good little sweet girl that I am. "I don't trust random people IMing me very easily." And I had just told him my age and location (sort of--the US is a pretty general area), and now I was apologizing, basically, for not trusting him, a matter of minutes after first meeting this guy. What kind of idiot am I?

"I'm not looking to talk sex like a lot of them," he said. Right.

I decided to try my one last attempt at getting him away from me. "Praise God," I said, hoping he would think, Oh, she's one of THOSE people... Christians. Which, I guess, isn't exactly a good thing to have people thinking... Really... But in this situation, I acted on the stereotypes of the world and hoped it would help me.

"Besides, you are young enough to be my daughter," he said.

"That wouldn't stop some guys," was my quick response. Very true. But he could still be lying, making himself seem innocent, slowly getting to me, preying on the na�vet� of a young girl...

Paranoid? Perhaps.

"I'm not some guys," he told me. {rolls eyes} That was original. "And I have had young girls that get upset when I won't talk it with them, too."

I just wrote my reaction. "Poor girls..."

"Yes, they were," he said. Then he repeated, "I am really looking to meet new and interesting people."

I made an attempt at humor, which was also very stupid, because it sounded like a complete contradiction to my former coldness toward this guy. It wasn't meant to, though; it wasn't sarcasm that could people on IM could possibly take seriously. It was just humor that I got from... I was attempting to imitate someone I know who is very funny, anyway. (Why did I just do that?) Anyway, what I said was a light, though terribly clich�, "Well, I'm certainly new. Interesting? Guess we'll see. :)"

I was sincerely trying to be funny! But once I said it I wanted to smack myself. Does that not sound like a girl trying to pick up somebody??

I should really just stay away from the chat world. I really should. Stick strictly to my Christian chat rooms, hide away where it's safe till I'm old enough where dangers like being stalked don't threaten so much...

"I live in a very small town. And it's hard to meet new people here," he continued. My first reaction was a nod of understanding. But, no, no, I would not tell him whether I was from a big city or a small town. No. Luckily, he kept writing. "I have met some very interesting people from all over the world in this chat room and many were close to my age."

"That's good," I said, not really knowing how to respond. What was his point?

Then a thought struck me, and I laughed at it. Sometimes my witty remarks really do come out witty. "Is it more productive every now and then than it was when I was in it?" What I meant was, were there actually people who didn't just advertise webcams, etc.? He didn't seem to understand, though. He replied: "I have talked to people as far away as Russia."

This comment struck me as very odd. What in the world was he trying to make a point of? "As far away as Russia"? It occurred to me that he might think I was a LOT younger than I am. A 10-year-old might find that comment--"as far away as Russia"--interesting, but I really did not. Russia, to me, is a plane's flight away. Anyway. Tangent.

"Neat," was all I said.

"SO ANY LUCK WITH THE FRENCH?" he demanded. Oh, for heaven's sake, why was he shouting? Any young people out there, or any people new to the Internet, do NOT use all caps when talking to someone. It is so annoying. And it's just like they're shouting at you.

"In that room?" I asked, again reaching for clarity. "I don't know; I left it. No one seemd interested in anything but"--everyone, say it with me now--"advertising their webcams." Sorry. :) That's the only thing they were doing! "They weren't even getting responses." And they were giving their messages repeatedly--as if, after not getting a response the first time, they might get one if they repeated it so everyone could "hear." Stupid, I tell you.

"Too bad," said Mr. Duane. Yet another answer I didn't quite get.

"It's fine," I finally said. "I just wandered in because it's been a while since I entered a chat room. I thought it might be interesting." No such luck. Remind me never to try it again.

After another moment of "silence", he said, Well, I'm a single dad of two young boys, ages 5 and 7." Again, dead-end comment. And your point...? This time that was my own fault for not being patient, however; after a minute he finished, "And I have got to go make dinner for them." Ahh, okay. He was leaving? Yes!

I said, "All right," apologized again for being rude (stupid... stupid) and thanked him for talking to me (and not talking sex).

"I told you I wouldn't," he said. Yeah, yeah, and so does the serial killer who only goes after women whose names are longer than 7 letters.

(Okay, that was just a random exaggeration of stories I've heard over the years.)

"Yes, thanks," I said again.

"Take care."

"You too."

"Bye."

"Bye." And don't IM me ever again!! I won't know what to do with myself!

{sigh} I can be so dumb, really. No wonder my grandpa worries so much.

-Stephanie

previous || next

Miss Something?

Social Anxiety with Guys - February 07, 2024

Education Expo with an ADHD Kid - February 03, 2024

Lovely Church Experience - October 22, 2023

Seek Out Community in Christ - August 29, 2023

Grieving Lost Friendships - May 08, 2023