So tonight was the concert with my solo in it.

"Can't Help Lovin' That Man Of Mine" was great. We sounded fantastic! Summertime was good, too, I guess. I don't really like that song, so I didn't pay a lot of attention.

Return to Music... Hm.

Well, I forgot the words.

I couldn't remember past "that rises from within."

It... was not fun.

I didn't cry. In fact, after my (non-existant) "solo", I threw myself more into the song, which is what you're supposed to do. Good for me.

But it took...::counts::...about 5 songs for me to get all the way back into the concert. I'm glad I stayed. I love jazz/big band music. But for Jayna's three songs after we sang, I couldn't clap much for her. I kept wondering how I could have forgotten the words. It set me in a deep slump.

But I did get out of it, that's the good news. By the last two songs I was clapping as much as anyone else.

Do you know what? They didn't have my mike turned up for the first part of my solo. Yes, I had it turned on. I made sure of that. They didn't have it turned up.

Luckily people heard me. But it was like,

"When I'm not sure where I'm going
And I'm missin' where I've been,
I take refuge in a rhythm
That rises from within.

...
...
...try to...can't...
Somethin' to sing about!"

At least I remembered the last line.

Wow. My mind absolutely went blank. And then I tried to sing the wrong words...

{sigh}

I wonder if I could ever sing. Stuff like this makes me really wonder whether I'll ever be able to sing a solo straight through, well, and without shaking like a leaf.

I should put it on my "Things I Want To Do" list.

I think I will.

Oh... LOL. It's already on there.

Dear God, So I did my best, I guess. But God... Why did I forget? Why did I forget my solo--the only solo?

I feel like I have to prove myself now...have to fix it somehow. I wish we would have started over... I would have got it the second time, and I would have felt really good about myself.

So God, how would You say I did? What would You say?

Sadly,
Stephanie

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