Poor Josh. It's a good thing he doesn't have a glimpse at my inner thoughts. It'd be torturous.

I haven't talked to Josh since Monday, and even then it was only a very brief conversation. I think he thinks I don't want him to talk to me. I kind of ran away from him on Monday. I hadn't seen him or talked to him the whole weekend, and so when he surprised me Monday, I got a little scared and shied like a horse and practically bolted away from him... LOL. It's funny when I look back at it, but I'm afraid it might have come across to him as not quite as amusing.

Anyway, and since then I've been too shy to talk to him. He hasn't made any special efforts to talk to me, either, and believe me, those efforts have to be special when you're dealing with a shy girl.

Today I was talking about Josh to my roommate, hoping he'd be at this dorm party we're having tomorrow, and Rebecca teased me, "Aw, are you letting yourself fall for him?"

I said no and explained that he hadn't talked to me all week and I was confused as to whether he was interested in me or not and I just wanted to know. I guess saying it out loud like that kind of hit home for me... "No one's ever liked me except Nate, and that's a whole different story... I guess I'm just not the kind of girl guys like," I said, on the verge of tears. I could tell I was going to cry, so I stepped outside the door into our courtyard and sat down by myself so Rebecca wouldn't see me. We're not that close yet. I just want someone to be interested in me, for crying out loud, I thought. Is that too much to ask??

The flip side of the coin is that if Josh spoke to me tomorrow at the Tiki Party, I'd be on top of the world again. So I'm a little melodramatic. This is why I'm glad he can't see into my head like all you out there can. :)

Poor men in general. They must think we're impossible.

Neurotic? I'd say girls are pretty neurotic. ;)

-Stephanie

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